Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Is Our Relationship Normal or Not?? How to Tell??

Oh weddings...you have the power to create a union between two people and the power to change two people or more. This past weekend I went to a wedding and noticed a lot of unmarried couples constantly throughout the night looking very deep in thought. Some had a dreamy look in their eyes,  then turned to their boyfriends or girlfriends & smiled or there was a look a concern that puzzled me. I approached one of my unmarried friends named Dina, who has been with her boyfriend for two years and asked her if she was doing okay? She admitted she wasn't okay because being at the wedding had rucked up some dirt in her relationship from the all the emotions flying. & she wasn't sure exactly how to deal with it all. 

 I'm still not exactly sure what went on between her & her bf, but her final words to me were, 

"Chloe, how do you know if your relationship is normal? How do you know if your giving too much & receiving too little? How do you know that you've been in that limbo between dating and engagement for too long? How do you know if you moved in with someone too quickly? How do you know if your making the right choices to have a normal relationship? How? 

I opened my mouth to answer her but then I closed it shortly after. I replied I didn't know the answer and frankly it was the truth. How do you know if your relationship is normal or not?

Sex and the city's relationships were never normal & I guess the new show, "Girls" is a good judge of normal relationships today but I haven't seen it yet. True Blood is DEFINITELY not something to use as a guidelines or even Gossip Girl. Boy Meets World spanned wayyy to many years to fully grasp Topanga & Corey's relationship, and Happy Endings is all over the place with relationships so I'm drawing a blank... A lot of people relate their lives to their favorite TV Shows and movies but hmmm...if you don't have an extreme situation, what guidelines can you use to tell if the normal little things are okay in a relationship? 

Craig and I went to a wedding this weekend where the people dated less time than us yet walked down the aisle. My best friend who is getting married was engaged after a year & a half and I've been dating Craig longer and I'm not engaged. Dina has been dating her boyfriend 2 years and they moved in together last month. Craig and I are what seems to be deep seated in this relationship limbo that is moving slowly, ever so slowly. We're almost together 2 & half years and are now finally discussing living together. Um, he won't let me in the kitchen to cook dinner because he likes his food certain ways and doesn't trust anyone else to make it exactly the way he likes it. There could be a long list here...

I know it's not fair to myself to compare myself to other relationships or for my friend Dina to do it to herself, but sometimes you can't help it. I am happy with Craig, happier than I have ever been with any other man that has been in my life, so I'm thinking that is all that truly matters. The little things don't matter as long as your partner in crime sort of speak is always there for you by your side and loves you with all their heart. That's my answer and I'm going stick to it...

What do you think? How do you tell if your Relationship is Normal
I'd love to hear. 

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