Life Lessons: Letting Friends Back into Your Life...

Movie Still, Assbackwards, 2013 

A movie about two best friends on a journey to a beauty pageant reunion.

The day I tossed up my graduation cap at my high school graduation in June 2003 I knew my life would never be the same. Out of all the words of wisdom I was given that day and days going forward about life after high school, one tidbit struck a cord in me and almost 11 years later it is still relevant. 

"You will find out your true friends when study hall is over." 

Oh, how true that lil statement is and will always be. In the test of time, I'm only friends with 2 people I went to high school with & by friends I mean talk to on a monthly basis & meet every once and while for dinner. That number used to be 1 until recently. Somehow in the past year I re-became friends with my old friend Julie who let's just say has burnt a lot of bridges with me and I'm not sure I'm okay with letting her back in my life.

It would take tons of blogposts to explain the past 17 years of my friendship with Julie. I met her my first day of 6th grade in September 1996 at a new school and known her ever since. She is one of the few people that has been there for it all, all my life's ups & downs and let's just say she has chosen to not be the best friend she claimed to be. No one is a perfect friend but some of the things that has happened it's just common sense. I can't tell you how many times she's said to me, "I'm sorry I just didn't think." It's okay when your 15, 19, 22, or even 24, but at some point you have to grow up. 

Movie Still, Assbackwards, 2013 

I wish I could say that Julie has grown up at 28 years old, but I don't know. We met for dinner tonight and it was honestly fun. We reminisced about old times, talked about our families because we both all everyone's dirt, drama, TV Shows, and our futures. It felt good to have someone to talk to who knows me, the real me. But like I said, some of things that have happened between us are very hard to forgive. It's hard to push those grudge feelings aside. I did tonight, but on the car ride home it rushed back. 

I think I'm going to let her reach out to me for the next time we will hang out. If I put the ball in her court, then I'll know if she wants to make a real effort to be my friend again. I think...

Have You Ever had a Friend Come Back into Your Life?

How did it go? Where you able to let bygones be bygones?

Was that old grudge lifted? 

I'd love to hear...

Movie Still, Assbackwards, 2013 

Fit & Health...#Blog Every Day in May

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Ever since I started this blog I've made a strive and a goal to become fit and healthy. I've been to going to the gym, doing crunches, resisting the pretzels & popcorn, and fitting into more clothing that has been hanging dormant in my closet for far too long. But throughout this journey I'm learning that there is so much more to being fit and healthy that have nothing to do with exercise and eating right...it has to do with you, and how do you feel and what do you need to be healthy... I'll explain.

It's hard to wake up and know exactly what you need for the day. I scurry around my house for an hour  every morning to try to collect myself...but let's go deeper then what we show the world on the outside. Like I mentioned in this post here, I was not always the healthiest of people once upon a nightmare. Life changes came out of nowhere and I was forced to make decisions for my health & well being. Ever since then I've had to look outside the box & take a look at my life almost from an outsider point of view to get the real picture. 

At those hard times a few years ago I realized I was in love w/ a man who could never love me back who oozed toxicity, I had shitty friends who could barely give me the time of day when I was sick, and I was in a dead-end job that was depressing the hell out of me. I knew something had to change. In order to be healthy I needed to change. Healthy is more than just your waist size, it's your life. I was not happy and was drowning in my current situations. I did happen to wake up one morning though and vowed to change my current everything. It was the best decision I've ever made. 

You need to have encouraging friends that will hear you rant and give you POSITIVE feedback, you need a significant other in your life that will bring out the best in you not chastise you for the worse, & you need a job or career that makes you a better person. Life is not perfect and you have to make your own decisions on what's right for you and making those decisions are the most important! 

Today I went to a local 3.5 mile lake to meet up with a bunch of gal pals and a bunch of new girls that I hope to become friends with in the future. I've been going to these meet-ups for quite some time and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I've met people that I knew I'd never get to meet by chance and have opened my horizons to meet people who are in my same frame of life so it's incredibly awesome to relate. This meetup killed two birds with one stone too because all 7 of us went for a walk around the entire lake after the picnic! =) I can't wait for the next meetup. 

I keep saying that life is a process and it seriously is. Becoming healthy in all facets of your life is a process too. One you have to keep working at to see results. But trust me, sitting around positive people and coming home to a positive enforcing man playing a zombie game is the best feeling ever. =) 

What Do You Need to be Healthy? 

I'd love to hear...

One More Wedding Done...Bridesmaid Dress #2 Hung Up for Good...

Me in the limo ride to the reception of my friend's wedding...

I've finally realized why there are so many chick flicks showing when and how everything goes horribly wrong and others that show women how things are supposed to be on your special days. Well it's a tutorial. It's lessons from past experiences of the screenplay writers and authors. I feel like I can write a plethora of chick flicks and novels from the past 5 years of my life. Hopefully Lena Dunham will leave one or two stones unturned so someone else can shed some light on things people need to know but somehow it eludes daily conversation. =) 

This past wedding on Friday was such an eye-opener & the whole ordeal from start to finish was a learning experience that I have to share what might just make it into a story I HAVE to write one day...

1.) Future Brides - If you have hired a photographer and they are coming to your home or family members' home before the wedding to take pictures...DO NOT PUT YOUR DRESS ON! The photographer will  want to snap pictures of the dress.  I thought I was speaking another language when I said, "Don't get dressed yet to my friend". She was like, "Why not?" and didn't realize they want to take pictures.

2.) Bridesmaids - BRING AN EXTRA PAIR OF FLATS FOR THE RECEPTION! Also, for the hours of pictures you will take. Your feet will kill you...those heel inserts for cushioning only last so long. 

3.) Bridesmaids - If you will be taking a car or limo to the next location if the reception is another venue than the ceremony, bring one bag for the other Bridesmaids' belongings, cameras, and EXTRA SHOES.  Have One bag and give it to the most responsible person. It will cause less stress.

Craig & me from the Photobooth! Yeah we kinda gave the operators a lil show..Va Va Voom! =P

4.) Activities - Have something for the guests to do. Sometimes the DJ's are annoying and it's nice to have something at the reception for guest participation. I personally are a fan of the PHOTO BOOTH! It is always so much fun and it's interactive. Another wedding Craig went to had a casino night type deal as a guest interactive. It makes the time go by funner. I know it is an expensive luxury to have photo booths but makeshift ones work well too! =)

5.) Wedding Favors - GIVE APPROPRIATE &/OR USEABLE FAVORS - I love appropriate & re-usable wedding favors. I was relieved that my friend gave a very appropriate and monogramed goblet that I will definitely keep as a beautiful keepsake for the wedding. My cousin on the other hand gave us a mini plate & mini cup set that was pretty much a tiny tea set. I don't know when I'm going to use it because it's so small. The wedding Craig and I went to in November, they gave us all cheese plates w/ a knife. It was awesome! I have used it several times since then.

6.) Cameras on the table - We've all seen this in the movies and TV shows. DO IT! The bride and the groom will probably not be able to make it everyone to even say hello so definitely put disposable cameras at all the tables! =)

7.) Wedding Guests - DO NOT GET SLOPPY DRUNK! Open bar does not mean I'm getting wasted, especially to the cousins of the bride who have been dating the same guy for 8 years. Yes, we know you wish you would be the one getting married, but please hold back the urge to get tanked. IT WILL BE ON THE WEDDING VIDEO and they all will know it was you. 

8.) Bridesmaids - BRING YOUR ID'S. I almost wasn't served a drink because I didn't have my license on me when I went up to the bar. Luckily I had given it to Craig just in case before the wedding. I know I don't look under 21, but I still was ID'ed. 

9.) Everyone - REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN! I know there are lots of photos, lack of eating & drinking due to lipstick, but trust me...your up-do is not falling out, you don't have lipstick on your teeth, and please remember to breathe. =)

10.) Bride: Take the veil off at some point. It will just get ruined or matted to your sweaty face. The lights are bright so you will sweat and from all the hugs it will just be in the way. 

Here are few photos I have so far...I will post more when I have more!

My friend, the bride. 

Makeup check for me! =)

I feel like I'm at prom...Before the wedding. =)

Did I Leave Anything off that list? 

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR WEDDING MUST HAVE'S AND INFO THAT PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW! 

I'd love to hear =)

Battling My Nerves & No Longer Hiding Things...A "Truth" Post.

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Hmm...How to start a post that may make me sound like I'm a crazy person? Or maybe make me more normal than I ever I thought possible? Well, I've been struggling with it all day. 2013 was and is going to be my year of big change, some of which I've already seen, and other things I have not. Some things I've mentioned here in my fairly new blog and other things I've kept to myself where I ruminate about them constantly on my drives to work and my hopefully more gym work-outs. Alright, let's dive in. 

Around September of last year I reached for my hair straightener to straighten the right side of my bangs and I realized I had nothing left to straighten. It has been pointed out to me several times that I when I'm nervous I run my hands through my hair, especially my frizzy bangs. Apparently my nerves won the battle. I can sit here until I'm blue in the face with little things that caused my nervous twitch of running my hands through my hair, but that's NOT the point of this embarrassing confession. 

Slowly put surely I noticed this morning that my bangs are FINALLY  starting to grow back after all this time has passed. I've awkwardly used bobby pins and small clips to keep the struggling broken strands at bay, but my hand didn't reach those cover-ups this Monday morning. I had enough hair on that dreaded right side of my head to straighten and it perked me up so much I literally had a little bit of a bounce to my step. I was able to stop a bad habit and move forward. Progress, even small, is progress.

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I think I hide things too well. I hid my tortured bangs from the world, I once hid growing fibroids for years in my right breast for the fear of what if, I watched enough "What Not to Wear" to know how to hide my weight issues, and I've held back on my worry that Craig and I were never going to live together (which I was proved wrong). I don't want to hide anymore.  I don't want to hide that I struggle each month to find a balance with my paycheck and my social life. I don't want to hide my hope that every time there is a big event I'm hoping Craig will propose to me. I don't want to hide that I'm making excuses for not going to the gym...I'm want to push forward with more progress than before.

Tonight I went to the gym, and before that told Craig how happy I was that he was here with me in "our" place. I printed out a recipe to try and make stuffed shells on my own later this week instead of stealing some if my Mom makes it. I'm writing in my journal each week for the 52 Lists and I feel good. I am thrilled that I have written three parts of my story for your viewing pleasure. It's all steps outside of the box...no more hiding. It feels kinda wonderful...and tomorrow is a brand new day for more progress!! *Here's Hoping*

Do you Feel like Your Hiding From the World?
I'd love to hear...

P.S. I have extended my GIVEAWAY until tomorrow...Please CLICK HERE for my Reader Appreciation $25 Gift Card Giveaway! =) 

The "Male" Biological Clock...Does it Exist or What?

Baby Boom, 1987

I've heard rumors of there being a perfect 20 minutes in a family now and again where there is peace amongst the chaos. The rambunctious child is asked to sit down and eat their food and they do so, the baby is quieted by the soft cooing of it's mother's voice, and this beautiful scene resonates harmony to an overlooking bystander.  Such a scene was witnessed by an almost 31 year old man and like the Grinch that stole Christmas, his heart got bigger and bigger.  Then the following words were said, "Look at that family, Chloe...I want to be that family. Let's have a baby." Instantly a little clock started ticking in my head and then a little part of me began to freak out. 

This weekend Craig, who is turning 31 on Friday, and I, I'm 27 btw, were at Qdoba and honestly we saw the cutest family enjoying a couple of burritos, laughing and having fun in the booth behind us. I faced Craig so I only caught glimpses of them, but Craig watched them the whole time. He smiled mid-bite often at something said by the family and there was this odd twinkle in his eye that I had never seen before. When the little boy turned around to our booth he shouted "Hi" to us, Craig with a goofy smile waved back at the lil guy. They both giggled and Craig beamed from ear to ear. The moment was sobering...Oh so sobering. I think his "clock" started...

Guys can odd at times. They don't let you into their minds for whatever reasons specific to the guy, so it's can be a guessing game of possibilities. Women can be no better with expressing their feelings, but guys are definitely more elusive I think. I feel like I'm lucky because Craig is blunt and honest about his feelings. Even the bad things. I expected him to be weird, funny or change the subject when I told him I thought his "Clock" started, but no...he shook his head in a yes and said, "Wow, Babe. I think your right. Wtf? Am I supposed to have One?"

Three men and a baby, 1987

Do guys have biological clock? Of course women do, but I'm not banging my foot yet like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny just yet. Do guys get that paternal instinct?? Do they get that itch to play ball and catch or dress up for a mini tea party? I've never been a parent so I honestly don't know. I've seen Craig be happy as hell to leave a family party...tired as hell because his cousin's kids have been all over him, but then I've seen him play for hours and hours and be happy as a clam. It's odd...

I've always dreamed of getting married then hopefully waiting at least a year than think about having kids...Or at least I'd like to Move In Together first...

What do you think on the subject?

Do Men have a Biological Clock too? 

 What to Expect When Your Expecting, 2012

The Time Has Come...My High School 10 Year Reunion...

Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion (1997)

If only I could tell people that I invented "Post-It's". I love that movie! Well it's that time where I got my first letter explaining that my 10 year High school reunion was coming up. Oh boy...

2003 was the days right before texting was as involuntary as breathing, there was still a payphone by the girl's bathroom, and I didn't even have a cellphone. My hair was a frizzy mess, I didn't have a boyfriend, yet I had track medals, captain of the cheerleading squad, and #20 out of #160 kids academically under my belt. Don't be fooled by my saying I was the captain of the cheer leading squad and think I was the most popular girl in school because I was far from it.  High school was horrible and I remember crying my eyes out all through the blistering hot graduation day that June. A teacher came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder to console and he said, "Aww Chloe, Don't worry, it's going to be okay. Don't be sad it's over." I looked up at him and smiled and said, "I'm crying because I got out! I'm happy that it's finally over." He gave me an odd look and sternly nodded in this deep understanding that I think he knew all to well the truth of my statement.  

My Senior High School Picture, 2003

So now fast forward 10 years... Alright, there is a lil box saying RSVP or Not & then a comment section on my pre-invitation. I went to put my pen to RSVP  box and I froze.  Do I really want to go???  Do I want to see the prom queen I wasn't friends with? Do I wanna see the cliches come back together to gossip in corners about that beer belly or the wrong paths people took? Do I wanna see the friends who promised to call after high school and never did? Do I want to put on that fake smile to the bitches that I didn't like then and I know won't like now? Do I wanna see the people who added me on Facebook and NEVER likes my statuses or comment on anything? 

I'll admit that the ONLY reason why I would go to my Reunion was to find out the dirt that has happened in 10 years, but Facebook has done that nicely so Really Why Go??? 

From Facebook I learned:

The Prom Queen just had a baby...

So and So Stephanie is in Arizona, I guess good for her??

My Prom Date who followed me around for 3 years of high school whom I couldn't figure out why he never asked me out, has actually come out and is living happily with his boyfriend....

So and So Athena has 3 kids...Divorced.

So and So Katie has 3 kids...Divorced.

Ashley has 4 kids...Not Married, her relationship status is "It's Complicated." 

Once so & so Jackie stopped running for track she gained a 100 pounds and you can totally tell...

And EVERYONE has a dog or cat or a flying squirrel or some type of pet from the plethora of pictures!

The "Hunk" of the class is engaged and um struggling qualifying for a mortgage....Yeah people have no idea what "Too Much Infomation" means...

Etc...

Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion (1997)

I'm torn. To go or not to go? 

DID YOU GO TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION?

Also, is it even worth still going even though you have a Facebook? 

I'd love to hear...

The Essentials EveryOne Should Have!!!????

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    I have made the pledge to make 2013 my year and one of my goals is to not feel less like I’m a total mess 99.9% of a day. I would LOVE to look like that lady in the picture but...I'm going to stick to attainable smaller goals. My car is a mess (I haven’t seen my backset in at least a year), I have one clump of my bangs on the right side of my head that sticks straight up constantly, when I hit the pillow at night I’m out like a light, and I’m really feeling the disadvantage of having a small apartment when it comes to actually finding my belongings. BUT alas, I’m making a list and checking it twice (Sry, I’m still not over Xmas yet) of Essentials people should have so I can cut out all the excess crap to feel less stressed.

This is not a new topic to anyone especially today on the radio station Z100 on the Elvis Duran Morning Show and some of their answers really got me thinking. It’s so hard to call into that station so I’m going to post my answer here on my lil blog. Everyone seems to have this re-occurring goal of getting your shit together sort of speak too so I thought a running list would be something fun and nice to do today before I unload a whole mess of drama that luckily isn’t mine on you all. (Remember my friend who texted me about her breakup a while back, well there is an update…More on that later…)

People called into the station & the hilarious folks in the morning show gave the normal responses of Little Black Dress, a trench coat, a good pair of sunglasses, an extra pair of flats etc, a sewing kit, an extra toiletries bag in case you stay somewhere etc… But besides the wardrobe essentials what are things a women really need?

 

1.       A small thing of Hand Sanitizer to Keep in your Purse

(Anyone see Contagion?)

2.       A Safety Net Amount of money in your Savings Account for Emergencies.

-          I keep 5,000 in a separate savings account that I don’t touch. It’s for Emergencies

3.       Bag Clips

-          I know this sounds silly but I use them on everything from bread to fruit to bags of hair accessories

4.       Feminine Products for that Time

-          Speaks for itself, if your a woman reader

5.       A Phone Car Charger

-          It sounds lame but this was one of my gifts to anyone in my family who didn’t have one. It has really come in handy

6.       A List of Every Credit Card &/or Bank Account Information

-          From Hurricane Sandy, it got me thinking. What if you lost that lil piece of paper you wrote your Kohl’s password on or you lost your card etc…I know you can just call up the company, but wouldn’t it be nice to NOT have to change your password EVERYTIME you pay your bill?

7.       At Least One Real Good Frying Pan

-          Speaks for itself

8.       A Default Every-Season Dress

-          The little black dress sometimes doesn’t work for every occasion or season. Finding a ¾ quarter sleeve dress or a strapless  dress where you can easily pair it with a cardigan is a must have.

9.       Have a Close Family Member have a Second Set of Your House & Car Keys

-          When I recently lost my keys at the mall I panicked. Luckily my mother had a second set of everything. Whew!

10.   A Romantic Comedy or a TV Show That No Matter What Makes you Laugh/Cry/Motivated

-          We all have our bad days…I feel it’s so important to have that one movie or multiple movies you can pop into the DVD player and it will make you relax and chill out for a lil while

 I'm still a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan...She kicked ass, it's oddly still motivating!

Okay, those are my essentials I feel every Women should have & some can apply to Men as well…

WHAT'S ON YOUR ESSENTIALS LIST...?

I'd love to hear!

Being There for a Friend...

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There are days in a 20-something's life where you have to put the Xbox away & put on your "adult" pants that you are still struggling to fit into. Sometimes these days are when a friend's close family member passes away and that friend needs his or her friends to be there for them during these difficult times. This weekend an old friend's father passed away from cancer and I went to the service this afternoon to give my old friend a hug and to show that I care. I've known this friend for almost 15 years and it would've felt wrong not to go to at least the service or make a shiva call because they are jewish. In the sea of faces I paid my respects and got to give Corey that hug. I wish them strength & courage & above all else love in this time. 

My reason for sharing this tidbit of my daily life is that some people don't realize that as a friend you should make that effort to reach out to your friends in these times of need. With Facebook it's easy now to "like" a status or comment on the post notifying others of the loss, but if it is in your power to go and  be there for that friend of yours, then by all means, ask questions about funeral services &/or wakes or shivas or traditions of other religions. Even just asking or saying "If you need something" could mean the world to this friend and with texting and so many other social media units it really shouldn't be that difficult, but it is apparently for some people...

Last April my grandmother passed away and honestly I have 3 true best friends and I lost one of my friends last April because of her inappropriate actions. Never would I thought I'd have to explain my 26 year old friend Debra what should happen when a best friend's family member dies. Never would I thought I'd have to explain you do not text information about Batman trailers while you know your friend is at a funeral for her grandmother. She never asked if there would be a service or a wake, meanwhile she worked 2 minutes from the funeral home where my grandmother was laid out. She didn't tell her parents, even though we've been family friends for about 15 years. 

What actually disturbed the feathers of our friendship more was when I confronted her about this she told me that she didn't realize what she was supposed to do when a friend's family member died. I have gone to other services for other friends WITH HER so I knew she was playing dumb because I caught her being a horrible friend.  I saw her today at Corey's father's funeral with her parents, and she apologized. She told she now realizes what needs to happen when a friend's family member dies. I'm still not friends with her, but I hope she truthfully learned her lesson. 

My other best friend drove down from Albany last April because I drove down a few months prior to her grandmother's funeral. I remember she ran to me and we hugged each other for a good five minutes because we were so glad we were there for each other. 

The hugs, the tears, the smiles, the relief that you have that shoulder to cry on is what needs to happen in these times. It truthfully is...

R.I.P Mark Zymet. You will be missed by many....

R.I.P Grandma Carmen...I still miss you and can still hear you laughing...<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

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