Thursday, January 31, 2013

Once a Bridesmaid, Always a Bridesmaid...

Cinderella, 1950

I have a confession to make that I admitted in fast in my 52 Lists this week. I secretly want to be a Bridesmaid as many times as possible. I love trying on the dresses, going to the weddings, and above all I want to plan as many things for the bridal showers/bachelorette parties as possible. I really think it is from watching too many romance movies that I am addicted to everything wedding and true love. The 1st wedding I was in was a nightmare (I will tell this story one day), but this next wedding I will be in I get to actually have a voice in the planning of the bridal shower. I am so excited!!

From the first picture I'm sure you've guessed the theme...Yes, Cinderella. Helen has found her Prince Charming. I didn't realize Cinderella was made in 1950...WOW! This Saturday the other bridesmaids and I are meeting up to discuss possible ideas for the shower that is in late March. I'm so stoked that we have MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME to plan out some things and if needed have the DIY parties to complete little projects. I'm a big person for personal touches that scream the personality of the person so I'm sure there will be a lot of purple and a lot of cinderella-esque things!

I was always been a Sleeping Beauty Girl, my sorority name was even Aurora, but I dusted off my VHS copy of Cinderella and watched it in my old bedroom at my parent's house because they are the only people in the world who STILL have a VCR. lol. My mind is reeling of possible ideas... 

I saw this quote on a blog and I'm going to brainstorm around it... Here are some of my possible ideas...

- No one really knows people at a bridal shower so perhaps we'll have Glass slipper name tags or place cards?

- How about a Barbie/Dress cake? I could make the dress pale blue like Cinderellas?

- Photobooths are expensive so how about a Makeshift one with Heart Garlands or stars to be midnight in the background? I have a tripod I could use!! =)

- I'm going to see if Disney sells the little character sets of Cinderella and maybe if I can't make a dress cake have the little characters around the dessert trays? Especially the adorable little mice like Gus Gus?

- I have to rack my brain as to where I saw it but maybe have little drink stirrers that are magic wands like her fairy godmother had?

There is so So much we can do...I really can't wait for Saturday's planning session!!!

For those of you ladies that have had Bridal Showers or have planned them...

Is there Something We ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE at the shower? 
I'd love all any tip you'd like to share!

"So this is love..." 


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

My "Normal" Day... was just not a normal day by any means of the word. I felt like I was walking in those shoes up there...Stepping carefully through the fog the crazy weather brought to us.  I've been learning that when your just not ready to hit that orange Publish button on another post, write a different post about your day. The screenplay of today would probably be rejected because an editor would read it and say, "What the fuck? How could all of this happen before noon?" I'd then say, "I couldn't make this shit up if I tried." Let's begin...

On the car ride to work, approximately 30 minutes from New York to New Jersey, I saw 3 different people pulled over by cops/troopers. That rumor that cops have "Ticket Quotas" maybe true after all. Then I saw 3 DIFFERENT accidents with 2 or more cars. I had to call Craig just for my frame of mind to see if he got to work okay. I blame the fog.

Then around 9:30am, Craig called me to tell me that his mother will be losing her job. What's sad is that I'm so conditioned by spending most of my teenage/adult life in the recession I just sighed and almost barely gave a reaction. Hearing "losing their job" is such a normal occurence to me I unfortunately have heard too often in the past few years. His mom does have side jobs, but I knew it was coming. My father and Craig's Mom used to work together. (That is not how we met btw) The company let my father go last August to cut the # of employees. I knew it was a matter of time before they closed. It's still sucks. 

Around 10:30am, Craig called me again to tell me there was a problem with my Property Taxes check. Craig is in banking and IRONICALLY handles the account of my Tax collector. Craig saw that I had apparently paid too much? I drew a blank... What happened was my bank interpreted my 3's as 8's. Luckily I had the extra money in my account because they withdrew too much. Crazy though...I will get this straightened out.

Around 11am, a sales rep I deal with often that I now call Mr. Gullible, almost fell for a SPAM email of  an old client demanding $15,000 dollars to be send to the Wales embassy because he was stuck on unexplained vacation and was robbed. You've seen these stupid emails where they ask for money or to hold barrels of oil for the Embassy of Nigeria or something...I couldn't believe this guy ALMOST fell for it. Wtf?!?! He called me to ask me if I thought it was real...*Rolling my Eyes*

My boss let me know that a lady on her block hit a parked neighbor's car with her own vehicle and then drove off without telling anyone. Little did this person know, my boss's husband was home and saw the whole thing... To tell the neighbor who was it or not tell the neighbor?? That is the question... 

Then my Mom calls me to tell me she was helping a man in his early twenties buy a sewing machine, she's a Viking sewing machine dealer, and when he goes to pay he smiles at her with a mouth of Fake fangs. My mom shrieked and the man apologized but said, "Sorry my fangs startled you. I wear them a lot." He makes Renaissance Faire costumes and needed a new machine. Weird?!?!?! 

AND I was filing my bills tonight and took a good look at my cable/internet/phone bill. My 2 year triple service deal ended so naturally my bill went up. I didn't exactly look at why it went up. In error i was being charged for a promo extension I was not receiving.  If I had noticed I probably would kept being charged in error an additional $15 a month. That would have been $180 in error. So happy I looked at my bill. 

Well that was my NOT normal day... 

What Crazy Thing Happened to All of You Today? 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

52 Lists...Week 4

I'll admit it, I've already failed one of my resolutions. I hoped to take a picture everyday, but alas I stopped halfway through the month. I kept thinking my camera in my pocket was my phone, I kept leaving my camera at work/home, and it caused me more stress to take a good picture. I gave up. But I've been on a roll with trying new things, like my french macaroon making & my savings, so I knew deep down I had to replace the picture goal with something else. 

The very talented lady at the blog, MOOREA SEAL, is coming up with 52 Lists as a yearly project. Each week there will be a new category/question/list to do. I immediately fell in love. You awesome readers know that I love sharing information about myself to try to somehow give you a real idea of who I am in my little world and I think this is a great structured (Sorry guys I have major ADD when it comes to my blog) way to convey the inside scoop on my inner thoughts. Also I get to write with a pen...not a computer stylus pen, BUT a real life click the top pen. * My heart is dancing with glee*

My Week 4 list (Yes, that's my handwriting) : List your Current & Future Goals & Dreams

There is one thing that I wish never to forget how to do. It's hand-writing. I unashamedly love my handwriting. When I was younger, when computers were still only in really rich people's houses, before Windows 95, I had to write pages and pages of penmanship and cursive in school. My favorite letter to draw was a cursive S. I had to write all my essays, book reports, letters (yes, letters), and all my little notes. It was my favorite past time. I still can't part with some of the pages. I love my handwriting so much Craig let me be the official Card Signer in the relationship! hehe... Silly I know, but I wear that badge with pride. 

Here are a few things off my Week 4 List... 

- I hope to finish and publish my zombie novel
- Travel to Paris
- I want to learn how to speak fluent conversational Spanish
- I want to be a Mom one day
- I secretly want to be a bridesmaids as many times as possible
- I hope to keep an open mind always
- I want to meet as many people as I can from all over the world.
- I hope to take dance classes again in the future...
- I hope to be Craig's wife one day
- I hope to be healthy & fibroid free
- I hope I always have the ability to love...
- Maybe one day I hope to get a Master's Degree
- I would love to be in a movie
- I hope to keep this lil blog as long as possible and be true to myself always in my posts. 
- I want to walk down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
- I hope to be the best Cupcake Decorating Teacher I can be
- Land a job that will make me happy and have the chance to come home and say "I'm proud of my work today" 
-  I hope I will always make my mother proud =)

I can't wait until next Tuesday for a new list! 

Linking up with MOOREA SEAL
Go check out her blog for past lists and see if you want to join in on the fun! =)

I'd love to hear...

Monday, January 28, 2013

Moving In Together...On Superbowl Sunday....

Barefoot in the Park, 1967

Sometimes life happens and some other times other events happen that puts things into proper perspective. In my head I've romanticized the benefits of living with my boyfriend and plastered the rose colored glasses on my face. I've ignored the fact that I don't have a dishwasher, I've never lived with a boyfriend before, I have a tiny one room studio apartment, my boyfriend ONLY plays the guitar &/or video games in his spare time so I'll be giving up my TV, he has quirks as well as I do, and I've ignored the anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I knew all this...It wasn't new information to me I was just in severe denial. This weekend all the cards fell onto the table and I would have lied if I didn't say to him I was scared. 

I'll explain...

A very drunk birthday boy told me he loved he more than anything in the world but was afraid of living with me because in his words, "He doesn't want to fuck up what we have." In the wee hours of the morning around 4am, stone cold sober me had to cry and tell him I was scared too. We both stared at each other and both teared up. Somehow when I wiped my eyes I got sour cream in my eyes from the perigees we were eating, and Craig rushed, well stumbled into the kitchen, to grab a clean wet towel as I freaked out in the awkward stinging. He came back to me laughing hysterically and at the ridiculousness of the situation I had to laugh too. He kissed me for my silliness and we agreed we can't back out now. 2 and half years is too long not to take those next steps forward in our relationship. 

Now...What to do with my apartment...

The Money Pit, 1986

My apartment is not big enough for two people. It's a fact. For some stupid reason I'm running every bad "living together" story I've ever heard in my head. But then I'm also running every good story through my head. Ironically I was talking to my friend who is getting married in April and she was is very dead set on NOT living her fiancee before they get married. I love our girl talks to death but she was no help. That situation is a whole different post... 

Back on track... I thought I mostly feared becoming a Stepford wife where I'd be getting a 31 year old son instead of a boyfriend moving in, but I think with a week until the deadline I'm more afraid that he will find a quality he can't stand in me that will become a deal breaker. Or vise versa...*biting my nails*

~Just Breathe~ 

The Break-up, 2006

Wow, I'm stuck in my head. I know you guys must have lived with a boyfriend/girlfriend at some point so that's where ALL OF YOU wonderful readers are going to come in! 

Please let me hear your "Living Together" Stories!!
Good, bad, Horrible, Awesome...Your choice. 

Also, is there really a honeymoon period with something like this?? 

I'd love to hear...

Sunday, January 27, 2013

My [Untitled] Short Story or Novel...PART II

{It's crossed my mind that I will never get my feet off the ground if I don't get these ideas out of my head and onto paper or onto this lil blog of mine. This is a story that has been in my "Saved" documents as "New Story" for months...If I have deadlines I will write more...Please join me every Sunday as I continue my tale...}

 To Read the 1st Installment Click Here: PART I

Darien forgot to use his mind tricks on her, but gratefully didn't have to use them. He stared at her big brown eyes clouded with lust and her kiss plumped lips almost in agony. He reached up to caress her warm cheek, which she moved into like a cat begging to be petted. He opened his mouth to speak, but Molly interrupted him.

"Darien, let's go to my place. We can talk there. It's almost midnight too and the snow should be coming down harder now. Please, come home with me. I want to be with you tonight." Molly smiled meekly & quickly looked down at her feet, attempting to hide her desperation. Darien was the first guy she liked in a long while. She hoped he wasn't married. 

Darien bit down on his lip to remind himself of his responsibilities, but alas he was too tired of running anymore. The years were killing him slightly with each tick of the minute hand. It was just a silly song, she couldn't possibly know. He was too fine toned at his existence to reveal too many cracks. He had a week left to live. Molly would do nicely to complete this path. 

"Okay, baby. Let's go before you get any colder." Darien gave in. Molly looked up and smiled brightly. She let out a shaky breath of emotions, but then pretended to shiver due to the cold to cover up her anxiety. As Darien helped her into her coat, her brain began running a marathon of possibilities of his awkwardness. "He must have a kid, he must be married, he's in debt, he has a job right?" she thought to herself. 

Darien crooked his elbow out to her like an old time movie, and kissed the top of her forehead over her furrowed lines. "Stop worrying, cupcake." He said. A shiver ran over her at his cold lips. "Maybe he has bad circulation," she thought. 

The couple walked out of the little lounge bar to a coating of fresh snow blanketing the mini mall parking lot. The snowflakes came down softly but it was only a matter of time before the forecaster predicted the storm. They had seen the update in the bar part of the lounge moments before Molly sang. 

Darien beeped his camry unlocked and opened the door for Molly to get in first. His gentlemanly touches were not unnoticed by Molly. It made her chest hurt over her heart for a moment at the looming talk approached. He's perfect, flashed into her mind. He closed her door and through the tinted windows she saw him wink at her. The aroma of vanilla sugar flooded her nostrils as he left her sight. She looked briefly around the car for the little tree he must have hanging but it wasn't in sight. Darien opened his door, got in, and began swiveling around his ipod. "I'm going to take the boulevard. What would you like to hear, Molly? I got tons of stuff on here." 

Darien turned the car on, waiting for her answer. "Um, hmmm...Surprise me!" She said lightly, leaning in to give him a brief kiss on the cold cheek. His lips curled into a half smile, and said, "Alrighty. I got a great cover of a song, don't look." Molly smiled back at him. 

Right away she knew the song that boomed from his speakers, but the artist was unbeknownst to her. The telltale claps and beat was unmistakable. A female singer began to sing her favorite childhood song, "I think we're alone now."

"Oh, I know this! But who is this singing? It's darker, I like it." Molly asked. 

"It's by The Birthday Massacre. Ever hear of them?" Darien replied. 

"No. The lead singer has an awesome voice." 

"Yeah, she's pretty cool. They're called Bubblegum goth pop." Darien shrugged his broad shoulders. "I have no fucking clue what that means." He laughed towards her. 

"Haha, Okay." Molly laughed too, grateful for the lightened air. Darien began to drive out of the lot towards her apartment. Molly hummed the tune, and tried not to run her hands through hair anxiously. She hated driving in snow. It never was kind to her. It an ongoing battle each year in New York. "Shit, Darien. It's starting to really come down. Whew! Thank God I'm not far." 

"Yeah. It's just snow, babe. No worries. It's a pest, but it'll be gone before you know it. It always leaves when you've had enough of it." Darien commented. 

"True." She loved how Darien spoke in riddles and metaphors sometimes. It's like he's an old man trapped in a 27 year old's body. This must be what an old soul is like. He must have the oldest. 

The stop light before her apartment hung ahead shining red. Darien leaned over to her and sang in his low sexy voice, "The beating of your heart is the only sound." He kissed the corner of her mouth teasingly. 

Molly pulled back, smirking, and retorted, "Um excuse me, Mr. self-proclaimed Karoke Champ, who wouldn't even sing for me tonight, that's the wrong lyrics. It goes, 'The beating of OUR hearts is the only sound.' Hmmm? What do you have to say for yourself"

Darien clenched his hands on the straightened stirring wheel and without looking at her said, "You so sure about that Molly? You sure your heart isn't the only one that's beating?" Darien's smile was gone and he stared blankly at the now green light. 

Molly giggled nervously at his sudden change of tone she still couldn't place and said meekly, "Sorry. I'll look at the lyrics when we get to my place. I could be wrong..." She paused and then really thought about what he said. Her smile faded to nothing and the pain in her chest piked sharply. "Wait...What? Say that again?" 

Darien closed his eyes tight before he started moving the car again, hunched his shoulders up and let out a strained breath he was holding. "We have to talk, Molly. Now or never."

- To be Continued...

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A Birthday & A Few Things for the Weekend!

Taken June 28, 2010 the day Craig asked me to be his girlfriend...

Tomorrow is Craig, my boyfriend's birthday so I'm going to do my weekly links now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRAIG!!! He is turning 31 and honestly meeting him was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love him with all my heart and through the goods & the bads I love him with all my heart! =)

This week past in a blur, but I was mostly trying to get over being sick. I did make some Little Changes in my daily routine, which are totally paying off - Blogpost HERE  & I successfully made a batch of French macaroons - Blogpost HERE. I also desired my "Wish List" a little too much and bought the adorable Bear Cookie Jar - Blogpost HERE. Next week I'll be back full throttle! =)

If your snowed in or just have that extra blogging time this weekend check out these links!

- This very cool DIY Wire Love Ring by SWELLMAYDE. Perfect for Valentine's Day!


- I have never seen these before, Microphone Cupcakes, by Kick at the Pantry Door.

- A quick DIY Pom Pom Bookmark by Shakee Shakee

- A Gorgeous Mint & Gold Wedding on the blog, Ruffled. 

- Ooo a 52 week project I really can get into to! 52 Lists by MOOREA SEAL

- Beautiful personal touches to a lovely Baby Shower - from Jane at Our Life on the Big Computer Screen

- I need to make this for breakfast! Egg & Proscuitto in Toast Cups by The Soho

Have a great weekend!!  I'll be back Saturday with the EASIEST DIY EVER!!!! Well it could be named the LAZIEST DIY EVER!!!! 

Did you find any new blogs or cool posts this week? I'd love to hear! 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

French Macarons Second Attempt...A SUCCESS!!!

My Delicious Messy French Macaron!! =)

If at first you don't succeed, Try Try Again!! Yup! On a whim, I decided to attempt french macarons AGAIN and it was a complete success! Here was my attempt: HERE. I measured out the ingredients precisely, followed the recipe to a T, and had patience...Patience was really the key! I'm so proud of myself for following through and not giving up!! 

I bought real Almond was misplaced in my supermarket, but I found it and $8.49 later it came home with me. It makes all the difference with these complex little things. The recipe calls for Almond Flour...Just buy the almond flour, honestly. Last time I tried to make Almond Flour - I chopped up almonds & even sifted them like the recipe called for, but I couldn't quite get the mixture fine enough. This time...I didn't feel like my arm was going to fall off, sifting the confectionary sugar with the almond flour. It was easy and smooth...

Last time due to a "Folding" Error...I had macaron soup. This time, I folded the almond flour/powdered sugar mixture in with the egg white/fine sugar meringue. What is Folding you may ask? After you have made the hard peaks for the meringue you fold the almond flour mixture over and over again with a spatula. YOU DO NOT USE THE MIXER TO FOLD!! It will deflate your egg whites and create the soup. My macaron batter had weight to it and fluff. It was ready to be piped onto the parchment paper covered cookie sheet.

Quick Tip: A way to tell if you've "Folded" the batter enough is to place a dollop on a plate and the dollop should smooth out...if it stays in the shape of the dollop you need to fold some more.  I learned this from the talented lady at this Youtube video: HERE.

YEAH!!! =)

The Key to getting the "Feet" of a macaron is letting the pipped macaroons sit out for at least 15 minutes before you put them in the oven. The top of the pipped macarons will form a "skin". Do a small thumbprint test and then your good to go!

When I looked into the oven and saw them rising nicely I was jumping up and down with joy! I did overcook the bottoms a little bit, but all in all it was a complete success and I can say now that I can make french macarons! =)

So yummy!!  If I make them again I think I'm going to raise the oven rack so it will be cooked more on top, but I'm still so happy!!! I'm not sure if these lil things are something I will be making frequently, but it was so much fun to try out something new...

The hardest part in the end was matching up the sizes. Ironically I found a soul mate for each. =)


I used the recipe from Chevrons & Eclairs...


Oh and btw...I bought the Bear from my last post!

I was trying to give it a kiss =) It wound up only costing me $7 thanks to a gift card! =)

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A Cold Tired Tuesday Night...

A Christmas Story, 1983

There is something about the cold that is draining the energy right out of me. I'm still getting rid of my cold so that could be sucking the life out of me too. It is blisteringly cold in New York right now. I woke up this morning colder than ever because for some reason my condo decided not to have heat... Yeah, I had to have my shower on full blast with hot water to warm up my tiny studio. Weird... I just haven't felt awake all day.  *Pinch* Well I am awake, but something is missing today...

I'm working on my mini untitled story... Part I is HERE. Perhaps it was a little overzealous of me to promise every sunday a few more lines. I have to remember smaller steps. Also, I'm trying to decide whether it will be supernatural or not... I've set it up that it could be both...hmmm...*Thinking*

I'm working on my award nominations. I was kindly awarded the Liebster Award by Allison Leighann! Thank you! I also have to answer her questions! Coming soon...

I leave you with my mini Wishlist of actually SALE items across the web! Enjoy! Keep warm!

1.  Neon Lace Camisole - Anthropologie, $78
2. Bear Cookie Jar - West Elm, $ 29.99 
3. Sunrise Bow Cloche (Hat) - Anthropologie
4. Alphabet Trays - West Elm, $2.99 Each 
5. Kamal Snow Dots Dinnerware - West Elm, $19.99 - $27.99 for Sets

I know I'm trying to save money but that bear cookie jar for $29.99 is a steal! It's so cute!  I might really have to buckle down and just buy it! =)

I'm going to go climb under the covers with Craig (who is now sick too) and his cats to keep warm. 

Until Tomorrow...

Monday, January 21, 2013

Little Changes...

Side Note: When on Pinterest, resist the urge to click on that cute kitty picture or a wedding-esque will be there clicking for an hour or more...this is bad when your trying to write a blogpost. 

Little Changes can go further than the eye can see...

1. Christmas 2013 Saving - I know this mention is SUPER early, but I'm starting early. I tallied up my spending for Christmas/Hannukah/Office gifts and it was a lot of money spent over November & December. Well, how do I help my future self? Easy... I've been good so far with only eating out for lunch once a week, soooo Each Month I will be putting a minimum of $25 cash in an envelope labeled "CHRISTMAS GIFTS". It doesn't seem like much to save each month, but after saving for 12 months that is a total of $300. I probably will go over that amount next year...inflation sucks, BUT I will have a good head start!

2. Proper Salad Lunch Containers - Ikea "Reda" $2.99 for a set of 5 containers all different sizes. I purchased a set and they are awesome. Is it weird that I'm more motivated to eat salad if it's in a circular container?!? BUT, I will say that eating out of the biggest bowl makes me feel like a gorilla at a zoo...I will stick to the smaller ones. =P

3. Saying "Hello, How are you" to Others - At my job there are unspoken divides between sales reps, the accountants, the customer service girls, the client service team and then me who is a lil bit of it all, minus sales rep, being the only marketing analyst. There is a lack of communication between us all, but I've noticed my "Hello's" instead of the awkward half smile or pursed lip smile can actually go a long way. I've noticed people answer my emails a little faster, I can get post-its whenever I need them, and I even can put my lunch order on the accountants order which is like sin to the client service team. Who would have thought kindness would break the divide?!?! (*Insert Sarcasm here*)

4. Sleeping 7-8 Hours a Night- I'm a coffee addict, but the other morning I got up, did my mini work-out, got dressed etc...and walked out the door. It wasn't until about 10 o'clock where it dawned on me I didn't have my almost involuntary cup of coffee. My energy was up, I was conquering the world one email at a time sorta speak, and didn't need it. I'm hoping to grow out of the need for coffee one day at a time. =)
5. Quality over Quantity -  ASOS Leather Scalloped Edge Shopper - HERE 
I want to purchase this bag in the future...and I'm super proud of myself for not just putting it on a credit card. I'm going to save up for it. I feel like a teenager saying that, but it's all part of budgeting! =)
I saw it today on the blog, "Note to Self" here.

6. STOPPED READING DIET BOOKS! - I imagine some of you will disagree, but if I read one more book where it's someone who was never been overweight, or never struggled with a weight issue trying to tell people how to overcome the struggle I will scream. I would be more happy if they started out the books, "This  is how I maintain my healthy weight" but some of these books I literally think are just published so there is a book on the shelf, nothing more. Also, pictures are needed. I want to see pictures of the recipes, pictures of progress, pictures of hope, etc. Diet books have become textbooks...and sorry to say that is no fun for me.

7. Work on my Listening Skills - Worth it's weight in gold...

What Little Changes Have You Done So Far in the New Year? 

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The "Male" Biological Clock...Does it Exist or What?

Baby Boom, 1987

I've heard rumors of there being a perfect 20 minutes in a family now and again where there is peace amongst the chaos. The rambunctious child is asked to sit down and eat their food and they do so, the baby is quieted by the soft cooing of it's mother's voice, and this beautiful scene resonates harmony to an overlooking bystander.  Such a scene was witnessed by an almost 31 year old man and like the Grinch that stole Christmas, his heart got bigger and bigger.  Then the following words were said, "Look at that family, Chloe...I want to be that family. Let's have a baby." Instantly a little clock started ticking in my head and then a little part of me began to freak out. 

This weekend Craig, who is turning 31 on Friday, and I, I'm 27 btw, were at Qdoba and honestly we saw the cutest family enjoying a couple of burritos, laughing and having fun in the booth behind us. I faced Craig so I only caught glimpses of them, but Craig watched them the whole time. He smiled mid-bite often at something said by the family and there was this odd twinkle in his eye that I had never seen before. When the little boy turned around to our booth he shouted "Hi" to us, Craig with a goofy smile waved back at the lil guy. They both giggled and Craig beamed from ear to ear. The moment was sobering...Oh so sobering. I think his "clock" started...

Guys can odd at times. They don't let you into their minds for whatever reasons specific to the guy, so it's can be a guessing game of possibilities. Women can be no better with expressing their feelings, but guys are definitely more elusive I think. I feel like I'm lucky because Craig is blunt and honest about his feelings. Even the bad things. I expected him to be weird, funny or change the subject when I told him I thought his "Clock" started, but no...he shook his head in a yes and said, "Wow, Babe. I think your right. Wtf? Am I supposed to have One?"

Three men and a baby, 1987

Do guys have biological clock? Of course women do, but I'm not banging my foot yet like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny just yet. Do guys get that paternal instinct?? Do they get that itch to play ball and catch or dress up for a mini tea party? I've never been a parent so I honestly don't know. I've seen Craig be happy as hell to leave a family party...tired as hell because his cousin's kids have been all over him, but then I've seen him play for hours and hours and be happy as a clam. It's odd...

I've always dreamed of getting married then hopefully waiting at least a year than think about having kids...Or at least I'd like to Move In Together first...

What do you think on the subject?

Do Men have a Biological Clock too? 

 What to Expect When Your Expecting, 2012

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Day Without Taste...

Alas, like I said yesterday I'm sick. I don't have the flu, but my head feels as stuffed up as artichoke! But, after staying home yesterday, Craig bringing me soup and some  OTC meds I'm starting to feel better. But like so many colds that has come before, I lose my ability to taste anything for at least a day. It's an odd feeling to be drinking gatorade one minute and then the next to just be drinking nothing. I tried to shock my taste back to life by eating some vegetable sushi at lunch and let the wasabi bring it back, but it was no use. 

My taste buds played hooky today and for once in my life I really didn't snack or much or eat much of anything all day because I didn't want to eat nothing, I wanted to taste what I was eating. This got me thinking, of course. On my diet quest, I've been trying to really identity my emotional triggers that cause me to eat, my inability to stop eating until my plate is clean, and why I am 30 pounds overweight. I'm starting to think "Taste" has a lot to do with it. If I eat something hearty I want something sweet...The sweet usually comes in some processed or over-sugared treat.  Maybe I can trick my taste buds into accepting more healthier options like mangos or pineapple or some other naturally sweet food instead? If I really take a good look at the labels and realize that what I'm tasting isn't good for me, maybe I won't want to eat it? 

I need to play around with this unintentional no taste journey of mine. Eventually I'll get it back. Right now I still can't taste anything and I realized at dinner I ate less...Hmm...I have to figure this out further. I think this is a clue to helping myself...

I have to go to bed and try to feel better. This past week thank you for the lovely comments on my macron failure, my upcoming reunion, and my post about love. I will be visiting your lovely blogs once again soon! 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Jim and Pam from the TV Show, "The Office"

I thought I knew what love was when...

I wrote on all over the back of my My Little Ponies notebook "I love J.C." with the biggest hearts all around his name. He would pass me on his way to 5th Grade English while I went to my 4th Grade Science class and point at the lil C I had around my neck and point and say, "Hey that stands for my last name...You must be my girl!" His smile was like a drug to my 9 year old self. I thought I loved him from all the sweet little words...

When I wrote all over my Latin notebook I love "B.H" because I thought he was cute. He never spoke to me, he just sat diagonally from me in 8th grade Latin class. Looking back I seriously can't remember why I thought I "loved" him. Then in senior year, the senior show came around. He was paired up with me to dance, but then he didn't put his knee out so I could sit on it like we were choreographed...I fell on my ass all because of him. 

Then a boy my freshmen year of college, who was my neighbor, came in to my room and cried because he had just come from his grandmother's funeral. I consoled him and a few days later he kissed me and then showed me a side of life I never thought possible. He was my first true boyfriend and I gave him it all.  My heart, my body, my patience, my ability to sit with his mother in the hospital after he had a bad diabetic episode while he was unconscious, and more...When I thought it was love, it was not returned. He couldn't even say the word. He carved out my heart and left a gaping hole that took me years to put back.

The others I knew weren't love and luckily I never uttered the word. I just would leave after that realization.

Then for 3 and a half years I played with a guy one town over, hoping every kiss, every midnight trip to the 24 hour Walmart, every time we'd mess around in his basement, every convention, every little thing would add up to him loving me back. I fell in love with him because he brought me back to life, but in the end he took it back. He took the light I thought I had found. I was so done.

It wasn't love...

I found love at 24...and every day since then I'm reminded what true love is. I'm 27 now and have the flu. I hate being sick. But because I finally, yes finally, found love I have a tummy full of yummy wonton soup Craig got for me to make me feel better. I have someone who doesn't care that I'm sick, no he's on my couch playing "Brown Eyed Girl" on his guitar because it's one of my favorite songs.  I got a back rub and a hug. I have a boyfriend who in the middle of the night curls his fingers over mine to hold me closer. I have someone who called me this morning to check up on me. I have a guy who told me today he is going to go to my best friend's wedding even though I told him he didn't have to go.    At a party we went to over the weekend where I think I got sick with a chill, he held my hand under the table the whole time just because... This is love... Finally...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Time Has Come...My High School 10 Year Reunion...

Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion (1997)

If only I could tell people that I invented "Post-It's". I love that movie! Well it's that time where I got my first letter explaining that my 10 year High school reunion was coming up. Oh boy...

2003 was the days right before texting was as involuntary as breathing, there was still a payphone by the girl's bathroom, and I didn't even have a cellphone. My hair was a frizzy mess, I didn't have a boyfriend, yet I had track medals, captain of the cheerleading squad, and #20 out of #160 kids academically under my belt. Don't be fooled by my saying I was the captain of the cheer leading squad and think I was the most popular girl in school because I was far from it.  High school was horrible and I remember crying my eyes out all through the blistering hot graduation day that June. A teacher came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder to console and he said, "Aww Chloe, Don't worry, it's going to be okay. Don't be sad it's over." I looked up at him and smiled and said, "I'm crying because I got out! I'm happy that it's finally over." He gave me an odd look and sternly nodded in this deep understanding that I think he knew all to well the truth of my statement.  

My Senior High School Picture, 2003

So now fast forward 10 years... Alright, there is a lil box saying RSVP or Not & then a comment section on my pre-invitation. I went to put my pen to RSVP  box and I froze.  Do I really want to go???  Do I want to see the prom queen I wasn't friends with? Do I wanna see the cliches come back together to gossip in corners about that beer belly or the wrong paths people took? Do I wanna see the friends who promised to call after high school and never did? Do I want to put on that fake smile to the bitches that I didn't like then and I know won't like now? Do I wanna see the people who added me on Facebook and NEVER likes my statuses or comment on anything? 

I'll admit that the ONLY reason why I would go to my Reunion was to find out the dirt that has happened in 10 years, but Facebook has done that nicely so Really Why Go??? 

From Facebook I learned:

The Prom Queen just had a baby...

So and So Stephanie is in Arizona, I guess good for her??

My Prom Date who followed me around for 3 years of high school whom I couldn't figure out why he never asked me out, has actually come out and is living happily with his boyfriend....

So and So Athena has 3 kids...Divorced.

So and So Katie has 3 kids...Divorced.

Ashley has 4 kids...Not Married, her relationship status is "It's Complicated." 

Once so & so Jackie stopped running for track she gained a 100 pounds and you can totally tell...

And EVERYONE has a dog or cat or a flying squirrel or some type of pet from the plethora of pictures!

The "Hunk" of the class is engaged and um struggling qualifying for a mortgage....Yeah people have no idea what "Too Much Infomation" means...


Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion (1997)

I'm torn. To go or not to go? 


Also, is it even worth still going even though you have a Facebook? 

I'd love to hear...

Monday, January 14, 2013

French Macaron Monday...Um Attempt #1 - F

Me with what a french macaron should "NOT" look like...I was trying to look puzzled but I swear I'm not as angry as it looks. =P

I had a very cute post outlined in my head today as I awaited 5pm to come so I could leave my uncomfortable cubicle. I went out tonight at 7pm to Shop Rite and got the last of the ingredients, sugars, almonds, & eggs that I needed and prepped my Kitchen Aid mixer.

Part of where I think something went "Wrong" is that apparently my Shop Rite does not have almond flour... I bought sliced almonds and used a chopper to make my own almond flour...Let's just say I had an unexpected workout tonight sifting the almonds and confectionary sugar. A sifter is fucking hard to use or mine is just too old. But a too big almond pieces was the least of my issues.

The widowed peaks before I added the almond/confectionary sugar sifted mix.

I was so excited with my meringue concoction of egg whites and sugar and read my lil directions and it stated to "Stir" in the almond/confectionary sugar sifted mix. Me, being a very UNSEASONED baker besides cupcakes & brownies, thought "Stir"meant the stir option on my kitchenAid. But alas it does not...

My macaron batter turned soup...

I'm attributed my batter/soup to my misunderstanding of what the baking term "FOLDING" means & some recipes stating to fold the mixture in or stir the mixture in. But there was also so many different ways to make the macarons I think I was overwhelmed too. The term "Folding" means to place the almond/confectionary sugar mixture over the meringue and fold it over and over with a rubber spatula.  NOT WITH A MIXER... Then again some people do it the folding way and um the stirring way, which I'm not quite sure what stirring means apparently...

My poor mom got a frantic call from me where I literally started yelling that I have soup instead of proper macaron batter. I really felt like Bridget Jones with her blue soup...I tried to put some flour in it to harden it up but it was soup...

I tried...I piped the small circler with my soup batter but it spread out...Again, NOT what they are supposed to look like... =)

Oh well...I hate to say that these lil things tasted the way they were supposed to taste. They look better in this picture than they really were. I didn't put the jam in them because they were too flat and on top of it all, there are 5 of them that are stuck to the parchment paper and I can't get them off...

Back to the drawing board...I will attempt to make these again...I need to go clean up my messy kitchen. Oh and I heard that your not supposed to make macarons in humid apartment is hot, it's raining,  & it's been foggy for days in New York. I don't think it was the right weather to attempt to make these lil things.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

My [Untitled] Short Story or Novel...Part I

{It's crossed my mind that I will never get my feet off the ground if I don't get these ideas out of my head and onto paper or onto this lil blog of mine. This is a story that has been in my "Saved" documents as "New Story" for months...If I have deadlines I will write more...Please join me every Sunday as I continue my tale...}

The second Molly opened her mouth to sing, her stage fright vanished. Darien’s smile in the dimly lit lounge helped her out too.  She stood high up on the little stage, staring into a sea of darkened faces, but his was all she saw or cared to see.  The bright white lyrics of the golden oldie "Will you love me tomorrow" by The Shirelles began to scroll on the large blue karaoke screen to the side of her. It snapped her back to reality.

“Tonight your mine, completely…You give your love so sweetly…” Molly sang in her low alto voice. People have told her she should be a jazz singer, but the oldies have always been her favorites. Her long fingers clung to the microphone, taping to the tune.  Her confidence longed to see Darien’s smile of reassurance, but he had turned his face to the small table. 

Darien looked at his still full drink and shot it down with one gulp. The tequila stung his throat, briefly shocking him, but the taste turned dull quick.  He scanned the tiny lounge, looking for anybody not watching his girlfriend sing her little heart out.  She apparently had a natural power to mesmerize because everyone stared intently at her. For him, that was a skill he had to learn and practice often. A skill that fortunately had worked on Molly all to well it seems.

He glanced back at her and put the smile back on his face so she could see him. Molly was beautiful with her long brown hair with auburn highlights swept half up, her big caramel eyes, and her trendy burgundy cocktail dress. She looked so stunning that he barely heard her sultry voice singing. Her mouth moved but nothing reached his ears. He just stared at her standing there on the lighted stage with the fake Karaoke back drop of city lights in awe of his conquest. 

“But will love me tomorrow.” Molly paused after reading her line. Tonight was Darien and her's 6th date. She had been counting. Tonight will be the night she invites him to her place, but then the lyrics hit that soft spot in the back of her mind. She assumed he was her boyfriend and it should be time for this next step. If not, oh well, crossed her mind briefly. Who really follows the rules and falls in love these days anyway?

Molly’s voice cracked a bit at the higher note but the song quickly returned to its lower tempo. She chuckled and swayed her hips to cover the mistake. Darien thought she was adorable in her awkwardness. “You said that I’m the only one…”

The melody and lyrics began to come into focus and Darien remembered the song from long ago. He realized he should be remembering something someone once told him about it. He paced his mind for the next few lines of the lyrics. 

“But will my heart be broken…when the night meets the morning sun.”  Darien gasped a gulp of stale air as his memory rushed back to him. His eyes shot to hers as she belted out and held that last note, he hoped, innocently. The empty glass of tequila he had long forgotten he was holding crashed to the floor.

Molly's eyes met Darien’s gaze, and she continued to sing to him. Then she saw the young waitress with her light up apron rushing to his side to pick up something on the floor. The apron shined light on Darien and Molly saw an odd look on his face she couldn’t quite place. His skin was pale; his mouth open in what looked like shock, and sadness stained his eyes. 'What just happened', she thought

She stopped singing almost at the end of the song and the crowd picked up on the cue because they started clapping and wooing. The blur of hands in front of her and standing people blocked her view of Darien’s befuddled stare.

Molly smiled tight-mouthed and said, “Thank you. Um, who’s next?” An older woman began to walk towards her and the others took their seats waiting for their turns to sing. Molly placed the microphone back in the holder, curtsied and turned to walk down the stage stairs.

The table Darien and her shared moments before her song was empty. The check holder with a ten-dollar bill hanging out of it was all that was left. She looked for her jacket and her clutch purse but they weren’t there either. She looked towards the hallway that led to the entrance. Molly took two slow breaths and headed for the entrance. Panic started to creep up her spine.

Her high heels were loud on the tiled floor almost interrupting the now bad singer on the stage. “Please let he be out there, please let he be out there,” she murmured under her shaky breath.

Molly moved the beads hanging on the top of the door frame aside to the end of the hallway and saw Darien facing the door leading back to the regular section of the bar.  His short black hair spiked upwards and he had already put on his trench coat. He had her peacoat over his shoulder and her purse dangling in his right hand. He was tapping his boot to an inaudible beat that not even he was aware of what it was. Darien could tell she was behind him for her perfume hit him like a freight train. Burnt flowers…he didn’t want to have to ever miss that smell, but it was inevitable. 

“Darien. Hun, are you okay?” Molly said meekly to his still turned back. “What happened in there? Do I sing that badly?” She chuckled to lighten the obvious tension.

Darien turned around to face her.  He suddenly looked so tired and his face long and thin. “No. You sing beautifully baby. It’s the silly lyrics that got to me. Um, we have to talk.”

“You don’t love me do you?” Molly jumped to conclusions from the oldie song. She was too emotionally done in her life not to be blunt with him.

“On the contrary, I think I do and I know you love me. I can feel it every time you kiss me and I see it when I pick you up at night for our dates. You light up like a fucking Christmas tree and it's amazing. It’s also in your touch and in your words. I love you Molly. I think more and more every time I see you.” He said. 

Darien walked toward her and cupped the side of her face with his hand. He felt bitter cold against her warm skin. Molly searched his face for betrayal, disapproval, dislike, or anything that would spark a reason for their talk, but he had that dreamy stare he always had before he kissed her mind away.

He dipped his head and pressed his cold lips to hers. Her lips parted to welcome his kiss and her eyes closed. Silence is all she heard as she drowned in her lust for him. She opened her eyes and met his dark blue gaze. 

To be Continued...

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