Sunday, January 6, 2013

Being There for a Friend...

There are days in a 20-something's life where you have to put the Xbox away & put on your "adult" pants that you are still struggling to fit into. Sometimes these days are when a friend's close family member passes away and that friend needs his or her friends to be there for them during these difficult times. This weekend an old friend's father passed away from cancer and I went to the service this afternoon to give my old friend a hug and to show that I care. I've known this friend for almost 15 years and it would've felt wrong not to go to at least the service or make a shiva call because they are jewish. In the sea of faces I paid my respects and got to give Corey that hug. I wish them strength & courage & above all else love in this time. 

My reason for sharing this tidbit of my daily life is that some people don't realize that as a friend you should make that effort to reach out to your friends in these times of need. With Facebook it's easy now to "like" a status or comment on the post notifying others of the loss, but if it is in your power to go and  be there for that friend of yours, then by all means, ask questions about funeral services &/or wakes or shivas or traditions of other religions. Even just asking or saying "If you need something" could mean the world to this friend and with texting and so many other social media units it really shouldn't be that difficult, but it is apparently for some people...

Last April my grandmother passed away and honestly I have 3 true best friends and I lost one of my friends last April because of her inappropriate actions. Never would I thought I'd have to explain my 26 year old friend Debra what should happen when a best friend's family member dies. Never would I thought I'd have to explain you do not text information about Batman trailers while you know your friend is at a funeral for her grandmother. She never asked if there would be a service or a wake, meanwhile she worked 2 minutes from the funeral home where my grandmother was laid out. She didn't tell her parents, even though we've been family friends for about 15 years. 

What actually disturbed the feathers of our friendship more was when I confronted her about this she told me that she didn't realize what she was supposed to do when a friend's family member died. I have gone to other services for other friends WITH HER so I knew she was playing dumb because I caught her being a horrible friend.  I saw her today at Corey's father's funeral with her parents, and she apologized. She told she now realizes what needs to happen when a friend's family member dies. I'm still not friends with her, but I hope she truthfully learned her lesson. 

My other best friend drove down from Albany last April because I drove down a few months prior to her grandmother's funeral. I remember she ran to me and we hugged each other for a good five minutes because we were so glad we were there for each other. 

The hugs, the tears, the smiles, the relief that you have that shoulder to cry on is what needs to happen in these times. It truthfully is...

R.I.P Mark Zymet. You will be missed by many....

R.I.P Grandma Carmen...I still miss you and can still hear you laughing...<3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">


  1. I love this post so much. I have felt lately like I am not in my friend's lives enough. Things just get so busy and before I know it, I haven't talked to my friends in months...and I don't want to be like that. Thanks for this post and reminding us all of something really really important. I hope your friend is doing better every day.

  2. agree with your post. im jewish and often have to go to shivas, which are difficult but its important to be there for those who have lost family or friends. x

  3. while i know that every person handles funerals and death and differently, everyone should know how to be a friend. i was in the exact same situation as you when my father passed away; a friend whom i considered my younger sister (we've known each other since grade 7) wasn't there for me when my dad passed. no calls, no nothing. she did end up at the viewing but i was so put-off by her actions (or lack there-of) i just couldn't be bothered anymore and had more important things on my mind.

    i'm sorry you lost a friend; it really sucks when that happens.

    you are a very good friend for being there for your childhood friend during this tough time. i think in this day an age, we may not be in constant contact with friends but we're there for them when it counts/when they need us (and vice versa).

  4. This is a great reminder of knowing what it is to be a good friend. I think I've made my mistakes in my very early twenties and I've learned greatly from my mistakes. I've also been hurt as well. A friend should be there to celebrate with you the good moments and be there for you during the rough times as well. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss and also for the loss of your grandma.

  5. Chloe, such a beautiful post. This really touched me. That was so wonderful of you to be there for your friend. Our friends are the most precious things in life. Over the course of our lives we will need them every bit as much as they will need us. Beautiful post.

  6. This is such a wonderful post. We can all learn from this. You are such a wonderful friend. xx. McKenna Lou

  7. Such a sweet, honest and true post. The importance of being there for a friend is so appreciated and needed in difficult times.

  8. Aww, this was such a great post. I'm so sorry that you had a friend like that but at least she's seeing the error of her ways now. RIP. xo

  9. I know exactly what you mean with this post, I feel like I'm so stuck between college-hood and adulthood (mostly because I still have so many friends in both stages). But no matter your age, your friend's behavior is inexcusable! I'm so sorry you had to lose a friend in this way.


  10. Just want to give you a hug. I'm happy that your former friend apologized... I know it doesn't make things right but at least it's a positive step. You have a very big, very good heart, Chloe.


Hello Everyone! Thanks for taking a second to comment! You can also follow me on Bloglovin! Ergo - Bloglovin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...