Wednesday, February 6, 2013

How Did You "KNOW"...A Love Post...

Craig and me - 9/10/10

"You don't think I'm weird now for liking this gothy pop music right?" I yelled to my boyfriend, Craig as we stood watching my favorite band play in a concert in New York City.

"Are you kidding babe? I fucking love you!" Craig yelled back. It was the first time he uttered the "L" word and for a brief second I thought I misheard. I didn't have a chance to say anything because the concert was over and the lights popped on. 

Craig then remarked to me that he was dying for a cigarette. When I turned to answer him I saw my ex in the distance. I stuttered in shock. Craig immediately saw the difference in my demeanor but I knew I couldn't tell him why my smile faded. I wanted to tell Craig to stay by my side while I waited for autographs but my fear got the best of me. Craig kissed me on the cheek and left me alone staring in the distance at the real life demon with his identical name but spelled differently. I panicked and quickly moved to the band members to get the autographs.

The man that actually had let me know about the concert, the prick who was my ex, must have seen me standing there. We messed around for 4 years before this...there was no way he didn't know it was me. I cringed inwardly for the next 15 minutes hoping I wouldn't get that tap on the shoulder...and luckily it didn't come.

I got my autographs and ran away from the very man who basically made every Adele song make perfect confessional sense to me. My boyfriend Craig was outside finishing his cigarette waiting for me with a smile. I thought I was in the clear, but then I saw the last band member whose autograph I didn't have. 

"Omg there's Chibi! Would you mind if I got her autograph too?" I asked Craig. He said sure and waited with me on the mini line. But then he stepped away to find a geocache (A scavenger hunt game) . I watched my boyfriend of a few months, who I thought had just said "I love you" kind of walk down the New York City street away from me...

I waited in line listening to the merriment of first timers meeting the band. I had been in their music video a while back so they knew me...One guy even asked me to take a photo for him. When I gave the kid the camera back I noticed someone had his back to me standing right next to me. If I had sneezed I would have fallen over the mess that is my ex. Once again there was NO WAY he couldn't have known it was me. My hand reached out and a poked him.

He pretended he didn't know I was there, but he was a great liar in our days. Somehow all the angst, anxiety and heartache vanished and all I saw was red. The anger of all the days & years wasted and how much I wish it was legal to pick up a brick and smash it into his face. We said our 'how are you's", mine through gritted teeth, and then he asked if I wanted to join him and his lady friends (whom neither of them were his current at the time girlfriend) on the way home...

"No Thanks. My boyfriend drove me." I answered with a chesire cat smile. In that moment I had never been more over someone in my entire life. My ex stuttered himself at my declaration and then waved half-assly goodbye. I watched happily his asshole self leave.

As my Past walked down the NYC city street, my Future walked back to me. Craig strolled down the other side of the street back to me. "Did you get the autograph baby?" He said to me, oblivious of the last few minutes. "Yeah, hun...Oh and btw, I love you too." Craig kissed me amongst the crowding fans and it all went to silence. I knew I was in love and the goodbye pushed me over the edge.  I thought I was love with Craig, but in these few moments I KNEW I was in love. 

There were of course other moments that made me "Know" but this was the first time 2 years ago we said it to each other. =)  I never want to forget that day...

How Did You "Know" You Were In Love? 
I'd love to hear...


  1. your ex had the same name but spelled different? I have seen people date guys with the same name before and I always thought it was the universe having mixed up the first time but getting it right with the 2nd (or however many after). for example, my ex married a girl named Lara - see, with me, the universe had him date a girl with the first letter wrong!

  2. Sometimes it takes finding someone else to truly move on!

    XO Jill

  3. Sometimes it does take a little jolt from the past to make you decide what you need to do in the future!!

    I feel in love pretty much instantly the day we got together, i was working in majorca and he was on holiday there....he then went home, came back over for a week and then proposed to me.....we had literally been together physically for no more than 2 weeks.....we have now been married for nearly 12 years!! mad eh!!

    New follower from the followers to friends link party!!
    Do pop over and say hello

  4. awww this story is adorable, hmmm im not in love at the mo, ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and i did love him but my feelings have slighty changed..... i dunno lol
    amazing post
    Leila xx

  5. I've read this story of yours on your old blog and loved it then. Still love it now.

  6. i think it's just something you feel in your gut :o)

  7. I'm with Erika, it's definitely a gut feeling.

  8. Very sweet story. So glad you're happy :)

  9. I'm not in love at the moment, but in the past when I have been, there was always a "moment". A moment in which my heart spoke to me and said "it's ok to fall". It's a wondrous moment indeed :)

  10. I love that moment! The suspense and excitement. Love this post. xx. McKenna Lou

  11. what a great're so bold for sharing it in such detail as you did on your blog!

    as for me - the first time 'I knew' was when I taught him how to play a vinyl record. it was a rolling stone album, and the song was 'wild horses'. we ended up slow dancing in my room at like 7am to that song...and that was the day and moment I knew I loved him. (we wouldn't actually physically say it to each other though...until an all nighter in las vegas haha).

  12. Before I met my wife, I had thought I was in love a few different times. The big change for me in both meeting my wife for the first time, dating her, and eventually marrying her was the thought that I didn't want to be with anyone else...ever. For me, I knew I was in love almost from the moment I set eyes on my wife and couldn't see anyone else around her, only her. My love for her has not faded and all I have to do is look at her and I am filled with a warm, comforting feel; knowing that I have found my life long partner.

  13. Stopping by from the Blog Hop, I'm your newest follower looking forward t reading some of your Posts, check my blog out when you have a chance


  14. Whoa! What a story! I like the, '...watched my past walk away and my future come towards me' (or along those lines). What an interesting night and (ugh) running into your ex, I know that feeling!!

    Have a great weekend!

  15. I read this earlier but had to run out the door for work... What a great post!!! Your love story is so sweet. :)
    With John I knew right away as in the first date, the second date /first kiss goodnight sealed the deal when I went home with weak knees. I don't remember the exact day that we declared our love for each other but I remember the days leading up to it and the little slips on both of our parts... Him saying goodbye and slipping an I love you over the phone and me picking him up at the airport and slipping an I love you when I hugged him hello. We still tell each other several times a day -every day- and this is after 5 years. :)


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