Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Living Together + Enjoying the Little Moments


Is it possible to have a Honey Moon phase a few months AFTER you've moved in together? I've been thinking a lot about this lately and ever since the rocky seas of adjustments have passed, I've been asking myself "Hey, what's left?" Oh right, my three relationship with a man I truly can say I love with my all my heart. There have been a few moments & return of past moments that have me really happy with our current living together status.

When Craig lived at his mom's and on nights where I wasn't there he would cuddle up with his cats or sprawl the length of the bed haphazardly just because he could. When I slept over or when he slept over my place he would curl his arms around me and it was like a valium to me. I would fall asleep immediately because I had his warmth and affection. This stopped when we moved in together. It wasn't an abrupt stop, but it eventually sizzled away. I assumed it was to give us the illusion of space in a one room studio, but it wasn't coming back as the weeks progressed. He slept w/ Angel our cat snuggled on his side and I was left alone on the other side of the queen bed.

It was honestly freaking me out, so I came out and recently asked him why he stopped putting his arms around me when we slept. I tried to ease it carefully into conversation and do it calmly.  He sort of bugged his eyes out a lil bit, looked at me like I was nuts, but then after a few seconds apologetically said lowly, "I didn't realize I stopped doing it. I'm sorry, Chloe. I'll definitely do it again." He hugged me, and I said he was sorry again.

Almost immediately three weeks ago, he bought Angel this uber soft pillow bed to put at the foot of the bed and his arms were right back to being around me. It's not every night, but I've noticed he's added a lil kiss to my shoulder when he wakes up & still thinks I'm asleep, he'll pull me back from the wall (I have a bad habit of rolling to the wall in my sleep) and curl around me softly, almost when we're both asleep he'll murmur "I love you", and he's finally realizing that he is a cover stealer so he's paying extra close attention to me that I have covers left in the middle of the night.

I didn't realize how much I missed these lil intimate moments of our relationship until they came back. It's a wonderful feeling sleeping next to him. I feel home and loved.  =)

Now, if only I can get him to stop banging the Keurig every morning though at 6am...hmmm...I still have to work on that one! hehe =)

What Are Your Favorite Lil Moments in Your Relationship? 
I'd love to hear...

A scene from The Vow, 2012

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  1. This is sweet! :) I prefer sleeping on the side of the bed next to the wall and I love it when the boyf snuggles me until there's no space between the wall, me and him. Haha :)


  2. Awwww, this is really sweet. My boyfriend is a cuddler, and while I definitely love snuggling with him while I'm awake, I can't fall asleep with his arms around me--I need a little space! haha. I love sleeping by him every night, though. We've lived together for a year and a half and I still cherish it!

  3. This is making me smile!:)

    A lot of the sweet little moments have faded between me and John but it's not due to lack of love it's caused by complacency brought on by time. However, he still kisses me and softly tells me he loves me when he thinks I'm asleep. And he still texts me mid day when we're apart to tell me he loves me (this is after 5 years of living together - today is our anniversary). :)

  4. So sweet! I love those tiny little moment we share. I love when Balazs gives me little smooches, just because. It's so special. Kisses.

  5. I think that it's AWESOME that he went back to doing the little things in bed that you like (that sounds way dirtier than it is hahaha). I know as people live together, things become less honeymoonish and romantic. Sometime you just accept it. Other times you have a simple conversation and things go back to the way they used to be! :)

  6. Yeah i've had that freak out too, sometimes we're totally wrapped around each other in bed other times not. In fact we actually sleep a lot better with a gap between us as I love being cocooned in the covers and he gets too warm. But yeah it's certainly as Wendy stated about complacency rather then a lack of love or affection. Just another way love changes and grows over the years.

  7. how sweet! we used to hug and cuddle all the time before sleep but now that we have a king bed, i'm all: hey! move to your side! LOL

  8. My husband said the same thing- that he hadn't noticed he stopped. I was so sad and once I told him that, he started doing it again- the holding me when I slept or the sweet small things throughout the day. I think communication is what brings the honeymoon back and can keep it going.

  9. Glad you got it back! Yes it can be hard to maintain long term. But being friends with your significant other is very important. Because the honeymoon phase will wane eventually so a solid friendship is important.

    Ali of

  10. Ah I'm glad you got it back! Iz and I aren't super cuddly in bed because we're both always so warm. But he always always kisses me goodnight.

  11. We've been married for 21 years so we have lots of little moments stock piled. One of my favorites is the way he stops and massages my shoulders as he is walking by the computer desk. He just stops whatever he is doing and makes me feel good. Then he goes on about his business.

  12. It's god you brought it up to him, and yes he probably didn't even realize that he had stopped. It's easy to get too comfortable and forget the little's good that you're cognizant of this. When people maintain the little things it helps maintain the big things :)

  13. This is wonderful and I'm glad you just asked him. Always best to just come out with it because usually there isn't a huge reason at all behind it. I have a really hard time sleeping when my husband isn't in bed with me. I'm so used to his warmth now that his absence is palpable if he is away.

  14. This is a beautiful story. We easily forget these little things as time goes by, and it's a real joy when they come back! :) Plus, they're often replaced by other little things that are even better!


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