A Year Ago Today...I Miss You Grandma.

My grandma dancing w/ the water glass on her head. =)

Every time I laugh I hear and can see her in my mind laughing. I never thought I'd be able to have such a vivid memory, but I'm so grateful I do. Every time I call for my Craig's cat I remember her shaking the Friskies bag for our old cat, "Bright Eyes". I can still see her tending her garden...all the Dogwood trees, the Rosa sharon bushes that we my favorites, and all the roses. She was always digging in the rock garden, probably to calm her nerves. She used to dance w/ a glass on her head to any calypso or spanish song on the radio. She used to never spill a drop...I can still see her now twirling with that bright smile on her face.

I learned about death when I was 8. Both of my great grandmothers passed away, one before Halloween, one before Christmas. It was so hard because I was so young but I was old enough to understand. Then a few years ago I feared picking up the phone because it was just that batch of time where it was too many people's times to go. When a certain person who never called picked up the phone I knew. That batch of time eventually passed, but then I lost my father's mother when I was 26. But I'm ever so grateful I had those 26 wonderful memories of her playing the piano and her laughter. She played so passionately I swear she must have been a piano in another life. We never got to the finish the Moonlight Sonata and I'm sorry grandma for not finishing it. I promise I will finish it one day or your future great grandchild will.

I'm not afraid to cry, but I feel like this week I've held it back too much. The craziness of Boston has had me glued to the new stationsand radio, waiting for an update. I wish all the strength in the world to the wounded and their families. I hope somehow and someway the police or whoever it is gets answers. Answers so we can prevent this from happening again.

I just finished The Lucky One movie w/ Zac Ephron & the tears just keep coming down. It's hard to explain to Craig that the movie was actually good and women sometimes need to cry even if it was an emotionally charged great movie. It was just what I needed to watch to the bring the tears to the surface. I was the lucky one that grew up with all her grandparents in her life to teach her things, make her laugh, and throw ya that extra 20 bucks now & again.

But I have to put the tears away because she was a very happy and beautiful women and she is forever in my heart. She would want me to be laughing along with her. I love you Grandma Carmen & will miss you always.