Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Living Together + Planning Pretty Much Everything...

Scene from the movie, Four Christmases, 2008

Hmmm...Where to start with this? 

My Family: Let's just say that my family with all of it's 10 members counting both my father's side & mother's side have fallen completely out of sync with seeing each other for the holidays. It's so bad that I have only seen one of my two cousins once in the past year. Oh yeah and she lives on 15 minutes from me and works 4 minutes door to door from me. The other I've seen a whopping two times!! Almost a record breaker there. There are no emails & barely any calls to figure out how we can make it work to see each other. I've been trying to change this...but I'm hoping things will change when my cousin's wife has her baby. Maybe that will bring us back together again...

Craig's family. Huge - 30+ people on just his mother's side. COMPLETE OPPOSITE. Here's how the holidays go...

August 2012: Email - "So is everyone free on December 15TH for the family Christmas? Please Reply to ALL"

September 2012: Email - "This is an In-law year. There will be no plans for Thanksgiving this year." 

January 2013: Text -  "Is Everyone coming to my house for Easter?" 

April 2013: Email - "PLEASE REPLY TO ALL. July 13th will be Jones Beach & August 31st is out for the Family BBQ. Please pick a country for the International Themed Family BBQ." 

Meanwhile I don't know what I'm eating for lunch tomorrow. Craig is so used to this but I'm having slight panic attacks because I can't answer what I'm doing July 13th or seriously any day 4 months in advance!! 

Is this a little crazy or am I just a horrible person with scheduling??

Scene from the movie, Four Christmases, 2008

BUT then...if Craig's Mom asks us out to dinner she does it five minutes before she is hitting the restaurant door. *Hits head on desk* There is just no happy medium. Also if I don't answer these emails or have a clue I get asked every time I see a family member, Do you know yet? I'm promising myself to stay cool, calm and collective. I'm really hoping to keep this promise. 

Oh and to spice things up...the only one or maybe two events that my family MIGHT have will fall on the same day as Craig's family events. I'm sort of happy Craig & I are both only children because I have no idea how we would manage to fit in siblings into all of this planning overload. I would literally have to install a Red Bull IV in my arm...permanently.

Well at least all of Craig's family is prompt in answering emails so I know what days in summer to etch out as taken. Crazy though...

How Do You Handle Planning Things with Your Family & Then Adding in Your Significant Other's Family?? 

Is it as crazy as this??

Scene from the movie, Four Christmases, 2008

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  1. yes! marriage is funny that way! it is merging two families who have their own ways of doing things into one. it will take time but you will figure out how to balance both sides of the family! you learn to say no to some of the plans and plan some things for your side! it will take time but don't freak out. enjoy the differences - that is the key!

  2. It seems that Craig's family is really really good at planning. I don't see that either my or Andy's families. But it's still always a struggle for us to find that balance of the two families.

  3. this is tough with us too. i have literally 3 family members haha (my parents and my sister). well, we have other family who live elsewhere who we don't see regularly. but my fiancee has about 30+ family members as well, so it gets tough. sometimes you just have to be the "bad guy" and step up and say "well if we did X with your family, maybe we can spend the next one with mine." something like that. things will never be even, but you just have to try to make it work the best you can. good luck!!

  4. This is always a tough balance. A lot of people alternate years when they have a significant other - that's the approach I have always heard works best!

  5. Wow, this is comical and difficult! I can't imagine knowing what I would be doing that far in advance, let alone planning for it. Good luck!

  6. My ex and I used to alternate. It was the only way to do it. Izzy and I haven't quite figured it out yet.

  7. I feel like this is never an easy situation! Everyone has to deal with it in some way though! Fortunately (unfortunately?), hubby and I live in Florida and everyone else is in NY so we don't have to deal with it much...but when we do go up to visit, it's hard splitting our time and not seeming like we are playing favorites. Good luck, maybe it will all fall into place and you guys will get into a routine with things!?

  8. I do not envy you. John and I are old so we hold family functions at our house -when we feel like it-. I like to keep them low key and relaxed, there is no pressure to come buy if you don't want to. When I was younger and married to my now ex we used to have to go to his parents house every-single-holiday... for 7 years. Fortunately, my parents are antisocial so we never had to worry about conflicting get togethers.


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