"Omg you must be so happy to have all your bridesmaids have their dresses AND have your invitations finally ordered! It's finally coming together Ashley!" - Me
"Yeah, it's nice." - Helen, picking off the top of her hang-nail.
"Are you okay? You don't seem too happy?? What's wrong?" - Me
"Oh, I am happy. I just have difficulty showing it. I'm happy about the wedding, but I guess I'm just not an affectionate person. But I'm working hard on it to show my fiancee that I am actually happy. It's just hard for me..." - Helen.
"Ok...Uhh...Ooo, the cheesecake is here!" - Me
In April 2013 my other best friend, Helen, is getting married. Thankfully she picked a beautiful bridesmaids dress, see post HERE, & things have been moving right along with the wedding planning. Helen & her fiancee met about 2 and a half years ago and they were engaged after a year. I'm still a little shocked about how fast this all came about, but everyone's lives are different. BUT Helen has acted weird with her fiancee from DAY 1. I'll explain.
She used to say oh yeah, Stephen, what's his face. She isn't really a jokester so I would laugh awkwardly at her remark. Then suddenly after a carriage ride through Central park she was engaged. I was happy for her and she at first was beaming from ear to ear. Even though I'm her best friend we really don't hang out together with our boyfriends so I don't know much about the fiancee. It's odd, but I never pushed the subject. Now less than 6 months from the wedding she is just so non-emotional towards her wedding that I'm really starting to say, "What the fuck is going on here??"
This isn't something that is going to be resolved tomorrow or possibly will never come to light but it is peculiar. I remember the day she told she got her wedding dress and she sounded like she was just stating a fact. I think I'm more excited and her sister than she is. She says she has a hard time showing how happy she is to her fiancee & others because she doesn't know how to be affectionate. I've known this girl for 15 years, I'm pretty sure she knows how to be affectionate, so what is it?? If your marrying someone shouldn't the affection come natural?? Shouldn't you be gushing constantly about your upcoming wedding??? At least a little bit? I mean come on, it's allowed because your the bride!!
Something is off here. I'm going to talk to her sister about this because it's worrying me. Or is this what cold feet is? I've never been married so I don't know... If your marrying someone you should be able to kiss them whenever you want & they should be your partner in crime sort of speak and they should want you to be the best person you can be in this world. Sigh...
Do You Think This All a Little Bit Odd??
I'd love to hear! I'm just getting into that phase of time w/ all the weddings and the babies so I'm not used to rolling w/ these punches yet. Until Tomorrow...
I agree with you that it's odd.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it is a case of cold feet, but since they moved pretty fast, I would probably assume that she got caught up in the moment of being engaged and now she's really thinking about the long term decision that it is.
I would definitely talk to her sister about it, and I hope that it turns out well for everyone involved!
allisonleighann.blogspot.com
Yeah - completely odd. I was engaged once before Andy. (Oddly, his name was also Andrew). All the emotions and reactions you described were the ones I had with my first engagement. It just wasn't right.
ReplyDeleteI really hope I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like the healthiest way to start a vow that is supposed to last a lifetime.
Hmmm, it really sounds odd but maybe she is just very overwhelmed with all the planning. You should totally talk to her. Muah
ReplyDeleteShe might just be overwhelmed, or maybe there's too much pressure for her to be gushy and it's just not her - so she's stressed.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe she has doubts about the wedding in the first place...
sounds to me like she's overwhelmed. some people stress out over these things and over the smallest detail. OR sometimes the planning brings light to things that she didn't want to admit to herself.... let's hope i'm wrong!
ReplyDeleteI think some people just have different ways of showing affection and emotion, like through touch or the written word rather than verbal - perhaps that's it? xo
ReplyDeletehttp://www.jenventure.blogspot.co.uk
There are many people that share their affection in different ways. I personally can't help being mushy and gross around my husband. I think it really is a cultural thing and how you were raised to give affection towards others. My husbands family is really reserved. My family is really huggy. It does show that you are concerned and I would be lucky to have a friend that is as concerned as you are.
ReplyDeletelynnandlou.blogspot.com
Actually it's more than a bit weird that she doesn't not feel happy or affectionate maybe she is just thinking about and getting a bit nervous about the upcoming wedding but she will react some this days.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for your visit I loved to read your man loved Spain,I was living on the US learning English and Loved NYC, best city ever.
Kisses
I read this last night and kept thinking the same thing as you, when you're supposedly in love and about to get married shouldn't you be super giddy about it?!
ReplyDeleteMaybe your friend has a case of the jitters or maybe she's going through the motions because that's what she thinks she should do.
Personally, I would be a (very) happy basket case. Wishing your friend the best!
PS- you look super pretty in those dresses!