Hmm...How to start a post that may make me sound like I'm a crazy person? Or maybe make me more normal than I ever I thought possible? Well, I've been struggling with it all day. 2013 was and is going to be my year of big change, some of which I've already seen, and other things I have not. Some things I've mentioned here in my fairly new blog and other things I've kept to myself where I ruminate about them constantly on my drives to work and my hopefully more gym work-outs. Alright, let's dive in.
Around September of last year I reached for my hair straightener to straighten the right side of my bangs and I realized I had nothing left to straighten. It has been pointed out to me several times that I when I'm nervous I run my hands through my hair, especially my frizzy bangs. Apparently my nerves won the battle. I can sit here until I'm blue in the face with little things that caused my nervous twitch of running my hands through my hair, but that's NOT the point of this embarrassing confession.
Slowly put surely I noticed this morning that my bangs are FINALLY starting to grow back after all this time has passed. I've awkwardly used bobby pins and small clips to keep the struggling broken strands at bay, but my hand didn't reach those cover-ups this Monday morning. I had enough hair on that dreaded right side of my head to straighten and it perked me up so much I literally had a little bit of a bounce to my step. I was able to stop a bad habit and move forward. Progress, even small, is progress.
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I think I hide things too well. I hid my tortured bangs from the world, I once hid growing fibroids for years in my right breast for the fear of what if, I watched enough "What Not to Wear" to know how to hide my weight issues, and I've held back on my worry that Craig and I were never going to live together (which I was proved wrong). I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to hide that I struggle each month to find a balance with my paycheck and my social life. I don't want to hide my hope that every time there is a big event I'm hoping Craig will propose to me. I don't want to hide that I'm making excuses for not going to the gym...I'm want to push forward with more progress than before.
Tonight I went to the gym, and before that told Craig how happy I was that he was here with me in "our" place. I printed out a recipe to try and make stuffed shells on my own later this week instead of stealing some if my Mom makes it. I'm writing in my journal each week for the 52 Lists and I feel good. I am thrilled that I have written three parts of my story for your viewing pleasure. It's all steps outside of the box...no more hiding. It feels kinda wonderful...and tomorrow is a brand new day for more progress!! *Here's Hoping*
Do you Feel like Your Hiding From the World?
I'd love to hear...
P.S. I have extended my GIVEAWAY until tomorrow...Please CLICK HERE for my Reader Appreciation $25 Gift Card Giveaway! =)
I think I hide things too well. I hid my tortured bangs from the world, I once hid growing fibroids for years in my right breast for the fear of what if, I watched enough "What Not to Wear" to know how to hide my weight issues, and I've held back on my worry that Craig and I were never going to live together (which I was proved wrong). I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to hide that I struggle each month to find a balance with my paycheck and my social life. I don't want to hide my hope that every time there is a big event I'm hoping Craig will propose to me. I don't want to hide that I'm making excuses for not going to the gym...I'm want to push forward with more progress than before.
Tonight I went to the gym, and before that told Craig how happy I was that he was here with me in "our" place. I printed out a recipe to try and make stuffed shells on my own later this week instead of stealing some if my Mom makes it. I'm writing in my journal each week for the 52 Lists and I feel good. I am thrilled that I have written three parts of my story for your viewing pleasure. It's all steps outside of the box...no more hiding. It feels kinda wonderful...and tomorrow is a brand new day for more progress!! *Here's Hoping*
Do you Feel like Your Hiding From the World?
I'd love to hear...
P.S. I have extended my GIVEAWAY until tomorrow...Please CLICK HERE for my Reader Appreciation $25 Gift Card Giveaway! =)
wow such a powerful post. we all need time off and relaxation away from the world sometimes!
ReplyDeleteps i had a friend who did that with her hair too, it does grow back :) xxx
ps keep up with journalling i find it so helpful
ReplyDeleteOh my ! That's so true for me . SOmetimes I actually want to get away from everything and my hair style only gets fit sometimes . Or else , I am usually hiding them under scarf.
ReplyDeleteNoor @ Noor's Place
This was quite lovely my friend. Sometimes it feels so good "not" to hide. I like to think that our blogs allow us that feeling as well, as we can reveal our true selves in many ways.
ReplyDeleteHoorah for this! Here's to more days of feeling wonderful and fantabulous! Cheers to you, lady!
ReplyDeletelove everyone 'hides' things - it's natural - don't feel frauded or down about it - but i bet you feel a relief just releasing it to the universe - i once in awhile write a good ole down to earth post and just release whatever is on my mind to the universe - usually sounds like a rambaling lunatic - but hey, it's my blog and i'll do as i wish, right?!
ReplyDeletePs pass it on, giveaway going on at my blog :o)
wonderful post, chloe. we all hide from things once in a while because the truth is never easy to take.
ReplyDeletehowever in my wise old years, i've learned that perspective is everything; that regardless of how scared we are of (some) things, *life will go on* so we can let our fears control us or we can empower ourselves to control them...either way, time will continue to pass; it's how we deal with our fears that can strengthen or weaken us.
good for you for laying out your fears; it's often the first step to gaining strength because as they say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (how cliche but so true)
What a wonderful happy post! Things are moving up in your world, lady. That is great news. I'm smiling - - for you!
ReplyDeletegreat post! it is hard to put ourselves out there, but it is great that you are proactively doing it! love it!!
ReplyDelete-- jackiejade.blogspot.com
I loved this post! I love anytime bloggers get "real" and show you the more honest side of life and the struggles that come with it. We all have things we hide or we're hiding from. Things we don't want to admit to ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy things are slowly falling into place for you! :)
What a powerful post Chloe! You're so brave to come forward and share this. I think we all have truths which we hide from because it's easier than facing them like I try to pretend that I don't have very bad anxiety at times. Being able to admit it as you have has obviously liberated you and and I'm really glad you're moving past it all onto better things. Stay strong girl!
ReplyDeleteRowena @ rolala loves
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I think we all hide different aspects of ourselves. It's strong people like you that come out that make the rest of us feel more at ease and normal. Excellent post, Chloe!!!
ReplyDelete