The vows, the kiss, the party, the dancing, the wacky photo booth pictures, the wedding night, the honeymoon, & the bliss...
Well I have to ask:
"What Does it Feel like?
What does it feel like to be Married?"
My reason for asking is that I recently had dinner with my best friend who just got married, almost 2 months ago and I asked her that very question. She kinda shrugged and said,
"It's kinda like a Birthday. I don't really feel different."
I was taken aback a little bit by this response. I know the world isn't a romantic comedy every day but I imagine your supposed to feel different. She continued to say that she might really feel like she's married when her husband and her buy their first home or have their first kid. Currently when they got married she moved in with her him & they are living with her husband's grandmother but still? Shouldn't you feel it?
I also recently saw the married couple who got married in November and I asked the same question to the bride. She did the same shrug thing and said she didn't feel much different but somehow I understood it more from her because they lived together before they got married...Then she said she can't stand her husband snoring. I had to laugh.
Then there is my cousin and his wife. They've been married a little over a year and are having their first child and they feel like they've been married for 10 years. I asked Carol "What does it feel like to be married?" and to make a long 45 minute lunch short she said it's a lot of work, it's being there for one another, it's stress, it's a whole new opinion of sex aka they are having a child soon, it's love, it's planning, it's fighting, it's understanding. But then she smiled and reached out to grab my cousin's hand to which he smiled back at her and grasped her hand tight.
I wonder how I will feel after infamous dip kiss I crave so much one day. I wonder...
If your married, What does it feel like? Or have been married...
Curiosity killed the cat, and I'm definitely curious. Guilty as charged.
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"It's kinda like a Birthday. I don't really feel different."
I was taken aback a little bit by this response. I know the world isn't a romantic comedy every day but I imagine your supposed to feel different. She continued to say that she might really feel like she's married when her husband and her buy their first home or have their first kid. Currently when they got married she moved in with her him & they are living with her husband's grandmother but still? Shouldn't you feel it?
I also recently saw the married couple who got married in November and I asked the same question to the bride. She did the same shrug thing and said she didn't feel much different but somehow I understood it more from her because they lived together before they got married...Then she said she can't stand her husband snoring. I had to laugh.
Then there is my cousin and his wife. They've been married a little over a year and are having their first child and they feel like they've been married for 10 years. I asked Carol "What does it feel like to be married?" and to make a long 45 minute lunch short she said it's a lot of work, it's being there for one another, it's stress, it's a whole new opinion of sex aka they are having a child soon, it's love, it's planning, it's fighting, it's understanding. But then she smiled and reached out to grab my cousin's hand to which he smiled back at her and grasped her hand tight.
I wonder how I will feel after infamous dip kiss I crave so much one day. I wonder...
If your married, What does it feel like? Or have been married...
Curiosity killed the cat, and I'm definitely curious. Guilty as charged.
Having been married before myself, I can say that it doesn't feel "different" per se but it does give you a feeling of wholeness that's actually quite nice.
ReplyDeletehmm..I think Romantic Comedies have messed up our brains when it comes to marriage. I've known my boyfriend for 8yrs but we've been dating for 6 and living together for 3yrs. Eventually we are going to get married but there is no rush because I don't think our life will change except that he'll be my husband and not my boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteWe've already planned on when we'll be having children which may or may not happen before legally getting married, support each other financially and through various issues with family and what not.
What I think is a special moment between any couple is when they decide to make a commitment to each other. I feel this occurs way before a marriage proposal.
I've been married for 18 years. I love being married. It feels very safe and secure. It is fun. It is sometimes hard. You have to work at. It feels like being on a team. I feel that my friendship with my husband has just gotten better and better over time. He really is my best friend and soulmate.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a really nice man. He is very nice to me. He is a good father. He is a good husband. Marrying the right person is really the key to a good marriage. It seems simple but I can't imagine the hell of be married to the wrong person
Marriage is happiness. I go home to my best friend every day. We work through things together. We build things together (including two babies!). We learn together. We grow together.
ReplyDeleteTo me, marriage was a way of me locking up my stud of a husband. He's mine ladies! The law says so! <3
honestly, it doesn't feel different at all. i was never one of those women who needed to be married either. we lived together and if it was that and only that, then i was ok with it. if we got married, then i was ok with that too. as long as we were together, that's all that mattered.
ReplyDeletewow. as i was reading, i was trying to answer the question myself and really there isn't a fancy answer. being married just feels like you have a partner with you in life - everything that i do, everything that i am happy about, fearful of, uncertain of, i share with my husband and i never feel alone or discouraged.. i have this feeling like i can take on the world with him having my back. :)
ReplyDeleteQuite frankly, happiness comes before the marriage, so from a happiness level it doesn't change much. If you weren't quite happy before getting married, you can't expect that you'll magically be happier once you've taken the vows. But what changes it your level of commitment to each other - you can't just walk out, you've got to work through things together and grow together. And most of the times it's amazing and beautiful, and sometimes it sucks and all you want to do is curse at your husband. But deep down you know that the commitment is there, and that despite the lows it's all worth it.
ReplyDeleteAudrey - This Little Street
I'm going to go with Keith and Jane... It's not much different other than a deep feeling of emotional security (if you're with the right person).
ReplyDeleteWith my first husband (that sounds so bad, lol) we had a shotgun wedding at the court house. He was wearing jeans and I was wearing shorts. I was 4 months pregnant. BUT we had lived together for two years prior and we were most definitely in love. The sound of being called by his last name and saying "my husband" and hearing him say "my wife" and wearing a simple ring that was his great grandmothers made me giddy. It was the most un-fancy event ever but sooooo romantic in all of the right ways.
I remember asking my brother the same question, after he got married. He, however, did feel different. He said he could feel the commitment, that he knew they would be together. He said it invites a different type of love into the relationship. He said it takes sacrifice and listening and constructive arguing in order to make a marriage work, but I can tell now--he's been married for two years--that he looks at his wife differently than when they were just dating, or even when they were just engaged. Their love is deeper, stronger, and they have an even more intense understanding of each other.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think I would feel any different after getting married as Stu and I were already living together before. But I did. With marriage comes a security that I never felt before. And a sense of belonging to each other as we have announced to the world that this other person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
ReplyDeleteHello, friend. I wanted to stop by and thank you for being a part of my blog in 2013. You have been a blessing to me. For the coming year, I have a few wishes for you.
ReplyDeleteMay 2014 bring you much joy.
May we all have peace in our homes,
laughter by our firesides,
time spent with family,
and contentment in our hearts.
Be well, my friend.
I agree with your friend. As cheesy as it sounds I was married to my husband in my heart about two years before we legally got married... so it didn't feel different.
ReplyDeleteHope 2014 treats you well!