Hi Everyone, It's Chloe and somehow in the past month of May, I got lost. I got lost in my own emotion, my own head. I didn't mean to fall off the face of the blogging world, but it was hard for me to put the words down on the page. I found myself up against the wall and just broke down. I knew it was coming, I could feel it in my daily life peering over my shoulder, waiting to overcome me. I let the depression take me and I'm happy I'm pulling myself back up.
My emotions were scattered everywhere. Friends I shut the door on have been trying to get back into my life and I don't know if I can forgive and let them back. The stress of going to wedding after wedding after wedding of people who have been together less time than my relationship honestly hit me hard after my best friend got married, who met her boyfriend a month after I met my boyfriend. I know there is no race but I crumbled under pressure. My job hit a point where it got boring...awkwardly and gruelingly boring, but I'm scared to push forward and look at new things when the future is so uncertain for my boyfriend's job due to a recent merger of companies. I went to the gym day after day just seeing the scale go up and up and facing a barricade of tiredness when I tried to push harder. I feel like it's my old Epstein Bar rearing it's ugly head again. A part of your 20's-30's is seeing your loved ones grow older and there has been a lot family pulling here and there over my grandparents in Connecticut. I love them so much, but my grandmother's dementia is getting worse and my grandpa can't walk anymore. It's a part of life, but it's very hard, very hard. And finding the motivation to keep on writing my stories...
~Taking it one day at a time~
When you fall the only place to go is back up. I bought myself a yoga mat to exercise in the mornings, I promised myself I would write a little of my stories every day, I would wait patiently for the next few months to unfold with Craig's job, and try to not compare myself to others who are living completely different lives than me. I'm getting to make cupcakes for my cousin's wife's baby shower and I can't wait to dust off the ole icing bag, I've been trying to make new friends, and thinking positively on every turn. It's working =)!
I miss my lists, I miss my living together series, and my weight loss progress...Regular scheduled programing will resume ASAP on Ergo!
Stay Tuned! =)
I hope you feel better soon my friend and I look forward to reading more posts. I miss them!!
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you are back.
ReplyDeleteBack in the saddle and ready to live well- that's awesome!
glad you are back, but sorry about all of the issues. hopefully things will get back and you can stay motivated. good luck!
ReplyDelete-- jackie @ jade and oak
-- $50 shabby apple giveaway
ps - i'm nearly 31 and just got engaged after nearly 4 years of dating. i know people who are younger than me or in relationships for less time you got married first. it is tough and i know it's hard to not compare yourself other people, but just know that everything will happen on its own time :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, you've been missed! :)
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about not comparing yourself to others. Sometimes we need a reminder that our journey isn't going to be the same as the next person, ya know? So (even though it's easier said than done) there is no point in getting frustrated when we aren't moving at the same pace as others in our life.
Happy you took time to clear your head and that you are ok.
i MISSED you! welcome back! and take it easy! no matter, you're doing great and you are so aware of what you need to do! that's the biggest and most important step anyone can take! woot! cheerin you on from here!
ReplyDeleteThe good thing is, you found someone you love and that loves you back - and that in itself is the MOST important thing. Rings and wedding bells and babies will come when they come. You have found the person that makes you feel whole. Take it easy on yourself and breath, you're pretty amazing :)
ReplyDelete